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orshii · 3 months ago

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☣︎ Demons of The Darkened Mist ☣︎

☣︎ Pairing: Jeong Yunho x female reader ☣︎ Word count: 6 k ☣︎ Warnings ☣︎ - cursing, mentions of death, injury, mentions of blood

☣︎ Summary: When the world was consumed by dark mist you got separated by the love of your life, Yunho. The survivor camp they sent you to was harsh and unbearable, but Yunho came and rescued you, the two of you then join Hongjoong’s crew which turns out to be challenging. Despite the angelic person he used to be, the dark world changes Yunho into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

Your bond, however, remains strong in a world scarce of hope and fragile trust, but will your bond actually prevail?

☣︎ A/N: Well, hello. Soo, this happened. My first Yunho ff lmao. I want to mention a few things before reading. It is a story that is part of the same world that I wrote with Hongjoong, but it can be read separately because they are kinda different stories. But I recommend Hongjoong's part as well because they are still connected and we can figure some things out from a different perspective. I hope it is not too confusing tho, I tried to put together the pieces. I might write San's story as well and if I get inspired then the others too. One last thing. Listen to IU's Love Wins All with the lyrics, because it describes their story so perfectly and it plays a huge part in the story (you'll see). *sorry for the mistakes* That is all. Byeee!

☣︎ Whispers of The Darkened Mist ☣︎ (Hongjoong's part)

When it happened, I was sitting in the college cafeteria with the love of my life. It happened quickly and we barely had time even to process it. The low sound of the sirens was the first thing we noticed. Hadn't paid much attention to it. But when we heard the voice of our headmistress, saying we needed to go to the hall where the opening ceremonies were held, that was the moment we started to get, that something was very wrong.

They did not let us go home or anywhere. We were closed up in the hall with hundreds of other students and our teachers. They did not tell us anything, they only told us we were not allowed to go outside. The signal on our phones was dead, we couldn't contact our relatives. Not like I had anyone to contact. Jeong Yunho was the only one for me and he was sitting next to me, so I wasn't concerned about my loved ones, mine was already by my side.

All of us were confused and some of us started to panic, was the end of the world coming to hunt us down?

Exactly that happened. I was sitting on the floor against the cold wall of the hall, Yunho, sitting next to me, his heavy head on my shoulder as he was dozing in and out of the real world. His blonde hair spread on my shoulder like a glory. He looked so angelic sleeping, his cheeks a little blushed, his veiny hands interlaced with mine. We were waiting for some reassurance from outside, some positivity that everything was alright, we were hoping they were going to tell us it was just a test and we passed so we could go home. But it never came. And I started to be uncertain of things. Especially when I saw the teachers whisper around each other with concern on their faces. I assumed then something was wrong, and I was sure when some figures with scary gas masks came into the hall, with weapons in their hands. Yunho snapped his head up at that and looked at me with questioning eyes as he squeezed my hand. I squeezed his hand back as he pulled me close to his chest. At least we were together.

But not for long. Those people with the gas masks separated us. I found myself in a room full of girls, away from Yunho, who was solely the only person that was by my side, that I could count on. And now they took him from me. I didn't know if I could see him anymore.

The masked men told us what was happening outside. The world was doomed. It was slowly consumed by dark mist that simply killed people within a few minutes.

The air was unbreathable outside. The only thing that made people's system work, was now gone. The air that was a pillar point of human life, that made humans live, now turned into the toxic air, that killed humans. How ironic was this? Something that once made you alive, now gasping for air that once saved you simply finished you.

They gave us gas masks; it was warm and it was stinking of steel and something I couldn't recognize. But it saved me and I was thankful for that because I needed to survive to find Yunho. Yunho was the reason I wanted to survive.

We were on a school bus when they told us we were going to a survivor camp, away from the population and they were going to train us to defeat the smoke that was spreading unstoppably. I didn't know if that was even possible. To defeat something that was in the air. It wasn't even a disease that could be cured. It was something unreachable for us people, so how could they expect us to defeat something we couldn't reach?

But with time I figured out their purpose. It was training us to survive. Survive until perhaps the mist disappears which can occur in years or even decades. We couldn't know. We only knew that we had to fight and train so that someday the world would return to its normal cycle.

Hope was a cruel thing. It made you keep going, it did not let you choose to give up. It was always there in the back of your mind, laying low, whispering to you things that were slowly impossible to happen. It was like a demon that possessed you. It took over and started to control you. We called it the survivor instinct.

That was why I understood why Yunho slayed down those men and women with his bare hands. The demon took over, it was buried deep down in his soul. But it was always there. I knew it was there he just hid it so well that I almost forgot it existed. When he started to punch those people we met and attacked us, I did not recognize my love. He turned into a monster and it was unstoppable until all of them were lying numb on the floor, their faces covered in blood, their chests not moving, their mounts open as their last move was gasping for air, that never reached their lungs.

People's fate depended on the mist that had permission to lurk in our lungs if we let it, or on our kind that slayed each other mercilessly not even caring we should fight together, not against each other. But four years were long, people started to adjust to this new and dark world.

It was always dark, the black mist surrounded us everywhere. There were a few places where it couldn't reach, but those were already taken by powerful people. And if you don't find an ally that has a safe place to hide in. You were doomed. You had no chance.

Kim Hongjoong and his crew saved us with Yunho. We were running away from the smoke that chased us unstoppably. The smoke was spreading slowly at the beginning, it left us some time to escape from it, but after a while, there wasn’t any place to run. Then we needed masks, that we lost somewhere along the way as Yunho was pulling me by my hand, making me keep going, running away from the mysterious demon that chased us.

We escaped the survivor camp together after one year of training there. We were in two separate survivor camps when Yunho found out where I was. Yunho was restless to find me. So, I was. It was empty without him; I barely could keep up. The camp was tough and they made us work so hard there were times when we collapsed on the floor, our strength leaving us. It was like military training but with the masks on. And it was more difficult doing it with the thing that saved you but at the same time made it harder to breathe and move. They taught us how to survive with physical but also mental training. They prepared us for the world mentally so we wouldn’t give up on our lives. There were times when I wanted to give up. But the thoughts of Yunho being alive and the moments when he appeared in my dreams encouraged me to keep going and to survive for him. I was determined to do so.

Then Yunho found me on a cold night outside, a mask covering his handsome face only his eyes visible, that I missed so much, I almost forgot how he looked. I was the guard that night on the west side of the building. I didn't recognize him at first, one year could change you, not only physically but mentally. Yunho looked more buffed than the last time I saw him. And his hair was black now. It made him more intimidating. The angelic Yunho I knew was gone. He was working so hard and it was visible on his body. He was wearing the green uniform like the men were wearing with gas masks, brown military boots, and a gun hanging from his shoulder.

He leaned down as he held me by my shoulders to steady me, preventing me from hitting him in the face. "It's me, angel. Yunho." He whispered as he looked behind him a little stressed, afraid of being caught.

I gasped, my mouth hanging open invisible through the mask. My heart started to race. After one year, I gave up hoping to see Yunho again. The light that kept me going was fading away slowly. But Yunho came in time, just as always. Giving me back the light I craved, which always kept me alive, even before the world wrapped into darkness.

"Oh my God, I thought I was never going to see you again." Tears flowed down my cheeks against my will, as I hugged him strong, wrapping my hands around his neck as he circled my waist lifting me. I teared up but I just didn't want to seem weak. But seeing him again made me feel relieved and I felt like I could breathe again, even though my lungs hadn't felt fresh air for a year now.

"I was sure I was going to find you, my angel." He pulled away a little and brushed my cheek with his hand where the mask showed a little skin as he looked at me with so much caring in his eyes. I knew I was between the right arms. "I'm proud of you for not giving up, I know it was hard for you." He leaned close to me his mask meeting mine as he leaned against my forehead, our lips could not meet but it immediately made my freezing heart melt into water that instantly flowed down my cheeks.

I just took his hand that cupped my cheek and closed my eyes, taking in his presence. "I'm grateful, Yun. I was so scared without you, but you were always in my heart and made me keep going." I nuzzled my masked face into his warm palms, that I missed so much.

He smiled at me genuinely as he pecked my cheek through the mask. "Let's get out of here." He said as he grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the exit of the camp that was a great shelter for one year. But a new chapter started and it was now with the most important person in my life and it did not matter where our way led us until we were together. We knew it was going to be difficult fighting against the world but we were facing challenges together and that was what mattered. We held each other's hands and ran away into the misty world to find a safe place so we could survive.

Running was what we always did since that day. We ran hand in hand not letting the other go, encouraging the other if one of us wanted to give up. And we ran on the day as well when Hongjoong found us. They offered shelter for us. We were so grateful for them. We didn't understand why they took us in, they probably pitied us, or even saw the strong survivor instinct in us and took us in, as we slowly became part of the crew. For three years now.

They were some determined people. Everyone had their job, and they took it seriously. I did not want to stay there, but Yunho insisted on staying there as they were our only chance to survive.

Their leader was a scary person, it was hard to make him calm down. But a girl, whose name was Soohee, always succeeded in quieting the man down. She was a little rebellious as she did not always obey his commands. And it broke Hongjoong one day. It made him realize it was hard to lead this many people alone. He needed Soohee by his side and it made them powerful leaders. Just as the whole crew. We were feared by the survivors.

I was sitting in the single bed we shared with Yunho in the bunker that was made out of concrete, the walls cold and dusty. The room was dark, only a little lamp lighted it up. I was sketching in a black notebook that I found in an abandoned mall in the crashed city we were staying in for a while. I was so glad I found something that reminded me of my past life. Drawing was my savior back then. I was an arts major in college and it always set me free when I could draw something. I was good at reading people's expressions and emotions by only looking at them for seconds. Drawing the emotions of people made me forget the painful feelings that suffocated me all the time. My past was difficult and it made me grow weaker over the years. No one was there to save me. I was an orphan my whole life, I didn’t know my parents, let alone my relatives. But when Yunho came into my life, I saw the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

When Yunho came into our shared room with an angry expression on his face, I was drawing him, it was a portrait of him, his features sharp just as his gaze that stared into my eyes deadly. At least one side of his was like the devil, he even had a horn on the top of his right side, his eyes as dark as the mist that haunted us. The other side of him was like an angel. A half glory was shining above his head, his eyes illuminated, his pupils gone.

I illustrated the past and the present Yunho. Back then he was an angel who would never hurt anyone, he always made compromises, so it was good for everyone. But in the present where the dark mist was full of our demons, he changed. He was nothing like the old Yunho. He was capable of destroying the already destroyed world. He was capable of killing innocent people just because he needed something from them. He was capable of anything just to keep the people we met, that became slowly our family, to protect them no matter what. And I understood why was he like this. But sometimes I did not know if it was the same Yunho I fell in love with. This destroyed world made us do things we would've never done in our past life. And I guessed it was because survival was the most important thing in this empire and that made us do things that our past selves would be ashamed of.

Yunho sat next to me a little frustrated running his hand through his black hair. He was wearing a leather-like jacket teared up on the sleeves, with black pants and his black boots. He wasn't himself these days. He seemed lost and it made my heart break. I knew the people he killed that day, haunted him in his nightmares. There were times when he woke up in the middle of the night sweating and breathing heavily as he curled up to me for some comfort.

Five years ago, when the world was normal, he was the one who saved me from my demons. Now, it was my time to save him. I wanted to help, but he showed me his vulnerable side only when he woke up nearly crying in the middle of the night. The next day he pretended like nothing happened and it made me think he did not trust me anymore.

"What's wrong Yun? You don't seem like yourself these days." I said a little worried as he leaned his head on my shoulder leaving a chaste kiss on the crook of my neck.

He sighed. "What do you mean?" He snapped his head up to look at me a little triggered.

"You seem…lost." I averted my gaze from his sharp eyes.

"I'm okay." He scoffed as he pulled up his long legs to his chest, not caring about the sheets that he dirtied with his boots.

"Why are you lying? It's me, you can tell me." I looked next to me as he leaned his head against the concrete looking up at the ceiling.

He scoffed again. "I'm not fucking lying, Y/N. I'm okay. Why do you push this topic all the time?" His frustrated gaze met mine. Here it was that look again. The look of trying to seem like everything was alright. He tried to hide his demons from me, but he just couldn't. I knew him like the back of my palm, he could never lie to me. "I just came here to be with you a little, because you always hide here and you just always come up with this shit. I'm tired of this Y/N." He looked at me like I was a nobody. And it hurt.

"I'm just trying to talk to you because you are not yourself Yunho. Why can't you just let me help you?" My voice raised as I started to feel angry.

"I don't need your fucking help!" He said nearly shouting it at my face as he stood up walking from left to right. Those words went right into my soul, making it darken with venom that was eating me up from inside.

I looked up at him, my eyes following his triggered figure. "Why can't you just fucking look at me and talk to me like I'm a normal person?" I stood up from the bed. "I know you are not fucking okay. The nights when you wake up from your nightmares prove it, but you just pretend like nothing fucking happened."

He stood in front of me, his tall figure hovering over me as he shouted. "Because nothing fucking happened."

I scoffed. "Okay, you can't be helped. I'm sick of you pretending like everything is okay up there." I pointed at my temple. "I tried, I really tried to be next to you and support you, but if you don't let me in, I can't fucking do anything." My voice came out a little stumbled as I started to feel like I could cry at any moment.

"I don't see why the hell you are telling me these things. I am alright I just want us to survive, but you just can't get the fact I would do anything to protect you." He stepped closer to me his face beyond my personal space, as his voice raised more and more.

"I know, I fucking know. I saw it when you killed those people right in front of me." I shouted back to his face.

He seemed stunned for a second like the memories of him killing those people flashed in front of his eyes. "Those people would've killed us if I wouldn't have killed them."

"I don't recognize you anymore. Where is the old lovely Yunho?" Tears welled up in my eyes.

"The old Yunho is fucking dead. You have to love me like this or just don't. It's your choice." He was cruel. How could he say those things?

"Okay, well I can't be with someone who just can't let me in and trust me," I said feeling empty all of a sudden. I closed my emotions out; they had no place to be there at that moment.

He just looked back and forth between my eyes, contemplating if I was serious. When he realized I was, he just turned with a scoff saying "Fuck this, I'm out." And slammed the door shut, its noise breaking my heart into pieces. I just fell on my knees and stared at the dusty floor. I couldn't cry, my emotions went out with Yunho on the door hoping they were going to come back.

That day Yunho, San, Jongho, and Soohee went out to set up some traps for whom might attack us. Yunho didn't even look at me when Hongjoong told them to go out. He looked cold and numb to any feelings. So, I just let him be, he might get some "fresh air" outside and come back to his senses.

They came without any warnings. Yunho and the other were away for two hours now. Their staying out shouldn't have lasted that long, but we couldn't get in contact with them through the radio we always communicated with. The line was silent and we started to get worried.

But we had no time to think about what might have happened to them. Our base got attacked and there was chaos everywhere. All of us tried to defend the base that was our home for so long. We just couldn’t lose it. The guys that attacked us were all masked and well-armed. They were strong and we had just no chance at all. They were more in number than us. But we couldn't give up. I was fighting with my full power giving in all of the knowledge I learned throughout the years. A guy came and attacked me with a fucking sword. How could they even find something like that? I had two daggers that I could use quickly and hadn't left time for the other to even think. I quickly dodged the big sword that nearly sliced my throat. I bent down and quickly cut his calves. He fell on his knees in no time and I just quickly sliced his throat without any thoughts. Then there were more. They never seemed to run out of people. They just came and came and we fought with our hearts not letting them break through our defending line.

Some of us got hurt, and Hongjoong got stabbed in the back but he fought further like he wasn't even injured, like a real warrior. Then Seonghwa, Hongjoong's best friend revenged him by taking the sword in his hands, that was on the floor, and slicing the guy's head down who dared to stab his friend in the back.

It was chaos, Mingi was on the floor unconscious, and Yeosang tried to drag him out of the war that was in the big hall of our base. I looked around for a second and everyone seemed like losing the fight. All of us were on the floor covered in blood. Two guys came to attack me at the same time and I just had no chance at all. It was a bloodbath, it looked like a battlefield, the enemy close to victory, and we just couldn't do anything.

Just until these other guys came out of the blue. They started to slice down the enemy, they helped us. And we did not know why, but we fought alongside them and killed the enemy one by one. I couldn't breathe. I was lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling and thinking of my beloved Yunho. His face appeared before my eyes and suddenly I felt at ease knowing him by my side. I needed him. He was my oxygen but he wasn't by my side. How could someone breathe without any oxygen? There was no way. And then blackness swallowed me as I fell into a cold and dark hole.

When I tried to open my eyes, I saw white. It blinded me and I couldn't fully open my eyes. The ceiling was blurry and as I started to recognize the noises of our base, was the moment when I started to feel my body. It was screaming at me from pain. My head was aching so hard when I sat up, that I needed to hold my head in my hands and scream. The demons inside my mind have woken and wanted to escape. I breathed heavily when a particular noise hit my ears. It was the beeping sound of a machine, copying the unsure beats of a heart. I looked towards my right side and Yunho was lying on a bed the machine connected to his arms, a respirator on his mouth that helped him breathe—I didn't even know we had equipment like this—I understood now, why everyone wanted this base.

It was horrible and I gasped in shock when I saw him in a motionless position. I screamed his name out loud when I stood up immediately, but my legs went numb under me and I collapsed on the floor my hands reaching towards Yunho as tears rolled down my face. I started to crawl next to Yunho on the floor as my legs just couldn't work from the sudden shock that hit me like a train.

"Hey, hey, Y/N slow down!" I heard a soft voice coming from my side as two hands slowly lifted me from the dirty ground, holding me still like a strong pillar.

"Yunho," My voice cracked as I was crying my soul out. After all, my soulmate was lying unconscious and I did not know what happened to him. Because I wasn't by his side.

"Calm down, Y/N, he is going to be okay." The soft voice came again and I looked up to the face that belonged to the arms that held me strong. It was Seonghwa. He was nearly as tall as Yunho as I needed to look up at him. His sharp features now softened and his eyes were full of worry and empathy. His long black hair fell into his eyes, his plump lift curled down like he was trying not to cry, to show me he was strong.

"Wh-what happened with him?" I asked my voice getting weak.

"They…they found an airplane while they were outside. And they thought it was a good idea to drive it…they crashed into the ocean." Seonghwa's features were frustrated like he couldn’t believe they were so idiot to drive a fucking plane that they just found. It was stupid—I bet it was Yunho's idea.

"And how is he?" I buried my head into Seonghwa's chest not daring to look towards Yunho. It hurt seeing him like this. It made my already shattered heart break more.

"He's…he's in a coma. You two were out for two days already. It was like you were connected." I started to cry harder when I heard Seonghwa's trembling voice throughout his chest. "The nerves in his brain got injured severely and it put him into a coma. It's a defense mechanism of our body, it's better for him like this like suffering while he is conscious. He is going to wake up, we just need to wait for him, hm?" He pulled away from me and cupped my face leaning down. "You have to be by his side and help him through it. We are also here for you, okay?" He wiped my tears away as he looked at me softly.

I just nodded breathing in and out. I needed to put myself together for Yunho. I wanted to help him. "I'm going to get you some food, Yeosang made your favorite." He smiled at me, trying to breathe some life into me. He succeeded and I couldn't be thankful enough for him. I held his hands that cupped my face and closed my eyes.

"Thank you Seonghwa, seriously. I don't know what would we do without you." I looked up at him with a thankful smile.

"You guys would probably be dead by now. I could not count the occasions I saved yall's asses." He said as he walked towards the door. He was our crew’s medic; he was always there to take care of us. I smiled at him and watched as he left the room with one last encouraging smile.

From then on, I did not leave Yunho's side. I was sleeping beside him, whenever my thoughts were so overwhelming it knocked me out. Or I just sketched him into my notebook laying there in the bed not moving at all. The beeping sound of the machine slowly drove me crazy as sometimes I groaned at the noise and I wanted to crash it into pieces but then it would kill Yunho so I just started to doodle angrily into my notebook. There were occasions when I talked to him, letting him know my thoughts and telling him what was happening in the bunker while he was unconscious. Everyone missed him.

It was already two weeks since the accident. Yunho was still lying unconscious. It turned out a girl saved them, as she was right at the beach when they crashed and she pulled out some information from an unconscious San so she could call help for them. I knew the girl. It happened for us to be at the same survivor camp, she was a determined and unstoppable girl and I knew she was going to survive this cruel world. She was always distant from us in the camp, she did not let anyone close and I understood. She just didn’t want to see how her friends were going to die. So, she needed to keep up a wall that separated her from disappointments. She saved Yunho's and the other's lives and I was grateful for her.

Jongho and San made it out with smaller injuries just as well as Soohee. I wasn't angry at them for surviving but why Yunho needed to suffer the consequences? Why he couldn’t just wake up so I could hug him finally and ask for an apology for arguing with him about things that didn't even make sense? We were both tired and the glass was full it overflowed our boundaries and we both broke.

As I was looking at Yunho's soft features sitting beside his bed on a chair, while he was struggling inside his mind, fighting down his demons, his face in this state reminded me of the old Yunho I fell in love with. His lips slightly curled up even in his sleeping state his muscles relaxed, the worrying expression that always seemed to be on his face recently, now gone.

An old memory of ours popped up in my mind as I watched his soft features.

I was filming Yunho with my video camera as we were walking around the streets of Tokyo. We decided to go on a trip with the two of us so we could spend some time together. It was dreamlike. It was spring, and the weather was still chilly a little. The cherry blossoms just started to bloom, and the petals of the flowers that already withered fell on the ground making it look like a rain full of pink petals. Yunho was wearing a brown long coat with blue jeans and black Converse shoes. His hair was dyed blonde making his features look softer. He looked like he came straight out of a K-drama. He smiled at me through my camera as I filmed him, the rain pouring at us as he held an umbrella in his hands, coming towards me with a pouting face because I had no umbrella. He held it above me and stood beside me, the umbrella giving us both shelter from the rain as we stood in a walking street. He leaned down and kissed me happily. I felt like my heart would explode from how happy I felt at that moment.

Then Yunho saw a karaoke bar and of course, we needed to go in, because he loved to sing. His voice was soft and made me feel at ease like I was in the best place I could ever be. No matter where I was until I was by his side.

I smiled at him as he was standing in front of me with a microphone in his hands, smiling at me as I sat on the couch that was in the karaoke room.

"Dearest, darling, my universe. Would you take me along?" He started to sing sweetly, his eyes boring into mine, and I was blushing the whole time.

"Far away in the universe from Earth to Mars. Will you please go with me?" He reached his hands towards me as an invitation I smiled at him and took his hand.

"Run away from the world, run on. Go to the end with me, my lover." We sang together, as our voices melted into each other's. He held my hand, the microphone between us as we sang, his eyes looking at me with passion and with love.

"Give me a lovelier kiss, lover. Love is all, love is all. Love, lovе, love, love" Our voice got higher and higher as we sang, smiling into it when my voice cracked a bit. I felt like I might cry right there, because of how much he meant to me.

I found myself singing the song that made our love bloom into a mesmerizing cherry blossom, that never withered, as I looked down at Yunho’s unmoving figure.

"In the еnd, even though. How is it us? For us?" I started to sing quietly, my voice barely coming out. "Run away from the world, run on. Go to the end with me, my lover. Will it be a bad ending for us two, gone astray?" Tears fell down my cheeks like raindrops when the lyrics made so much sense. Was it the end of us? "Run away from necessity, run on. Go to the end with me, my lover." I held Yunho's hands as my sad tears fell on our hands. I closed my eyes.

"Give me a lovelier kiss, lover." A weak voice sang the song that wasn't mine. "Our love wins all, love wins all." I snapped my eyes open and I saw Yunho looking at me with a weak and soft feature. And I started to cry harder. I jumped to the bed and on Yunho who groaned from the sudden impact. I was lying on top of him as I buried my head into his chest.

"You are here," I whispered as I still couldn't believe he woke up.

"Of course, I'm here angel." His voice was weak from the lack of speaking. I felt his hands traced up and down my back to calm me down.

"I was so scared, Yun." I lifted my head to look into his eyes. He smiled at me sweetly.

"I know, I'm here now. Come here." I scooted up, close to him as he sat up against the headboard and I straddled his legs.

I traced my fingertip on his features that I did so many times while he was unconscious, but it was different, because he looked full of life, like sunshine. My sunshine. "I'm so sorry Yunho for pushing you all the time. It was obvious you wanted to handle your feelings your own and I just didn't let you. I'm—"

"Hey, angel," His finger traced my lips to make me quiet. "I was stupid, okay? It was selfish of me, for pushing you away. I do trust you and I do love you; I was just an idiot who seemed to slowly lose himself…Forgive me please." He whispered those last words as his fingers still brushed my lips and it gave him comfort.

"It's okay, we will fight through it together, okay? After all, love wins all nah?" I smiled at him sweetly as he giggled.

"Love wins all, my angel." He whispered as he leaned closer to my lips.

And when our lips met, I felt like the world just healed and we were free to go out without a mask to breathe fresh air. Because he was my oxygen, he gave me the strength to fight the demons that haunted us in the dark mist. His hands wandered down to my waist as he pulled me impossibly closer to him, I wrapped my hands around his neck and deepened the kiss. His lips brushed against mine passionately like we were separated for an eternity. It did seem like it was an eternity. I learned my lesson and I knew I couldn't be apart from Yunho for even a second.

So, we are going to keep running hand in hand, running away from the venomous mist, or stopping to fight with the demons inside it. It didn't matter until we were together and the world was back to its normal phase.

But will the world ever go back to how it was before?

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months ago

Note

AITA for how I reacted after I discovered my ex has herpes?

So I initially was quite sure that I was not the asshole in this situation, but my friend group, who are usually pretty level-headed, seem to be split about it. Thought I'd get some impartial opinions, because if I'm in the wrong, I want to try to make it better.

I (mid 20s, F) recently ran into my ex (mid 20s, F). Over the course of the conversation, she mentioned that she had a flare-up of cold sores. For those who don't know, cold sores are a symptom of HSV-1, or herpes. I asked if she was okay and how long she's been having them. Turns out she was diagnosed with herpes 10 years ago, and she knew she had it but didn't share that with me. Which means I was exposed during the 8 months we were together.

I asked her if she'd had any flare-ups while we were together. She said yes but that she'd taken precautions so it was fine. The thing is, I'm immunocompromised and also have eczema, which means that if I get herpes, it might be quite dangerous for me (encephalitis and eczema herpeticum, for instance).

I shared this with her and asked her if she could remember the specific dates of flare-ups when we were together and if she knew where I could get blood work done (I moved abroad a year ago and don't really know how that works here). She knew about my health conditions before we started dating.

She became upset and said that I was distressing her and accusing her of not caring about my health and trying to pass it to me on purpose.

I tried to say that I was sorry if it came across that way, and that I was just trying to get as much information as possible because of my immune issues. I also tried to add that she might consider sharing her condition with future partners. She raised her voice and said that I was trying to prevent her from moving on and living a regular life.

My perspective is that it was unfair of her not to tell me beforehand so I could take proper precautions in consultation with my healthcare specialist, and that it wasn't unreasonable of me to ask her for more information and to want to get blood work done right away.

Hers is that I'm overreacting and that asking her for the information and being worried about her having herpes is taking things too far and making her out to be a bad person.

Some of my friends agree with me, but the other half think that I shouldn't have asked her anything and just have gone to get tested because I should have seen that it would be an upsetting subject for her.

I'm open to whatever you all think because if I've been unfair to her then of course I want to apologize. Thanks for reading this!

#aita #am i the asshole

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med-fetish · 1 month ago

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Hello! Today I started playing with AI, this is what I came up with, I hope you enjoy it !

Isabelle was 26 years old when her life took an unexpected turn. Since childhood, she had always been an active and energetic woman. She loved running in the park, practicing yoga, and spending hours exploring the city with her friends. But everything changed one summer day when she began to feel a persistent pain in her right side. At first, she thought it was just a muscle strain, a consequence of her busy schedule and long hours at the gym.

However, the pain did not go away. After several medical consultations and tests, she received a devastating diagnosis: kidney cancer. The news hit her with overwhelming force. The idea of facing such a serious illness at her age was terrifying. Despite the tears and anguish, Isabelle gathered her courage and prepared for what lay ahead. She knew she had to undergo surgery to remove the affected kidney.

On the day of the operation, Isabelle arrived at the hospital with a mix of nerves and hope. She was greeted by a medical team that reassured her and prepared her for the procedure. In a private cubicle, she changed into a surgical gown, feeling the cold fabric against her skin. Clara, a kind nurse, placed a hair cap on her head and explained the importance of the compression stockings, which were put on her to aid circulation during the surgery. Despite her discomfort, Isabelle felt a bit more at ease.

When it was time for anesthesia, Dr. Martínez placed an intravenous line and explained that she would feel a little dizzy. As the medication took effect, Isabelle felt the world slowly fade away, leaving behind her worries. However, what no one expected was that the surgery would become complicated.

Hours passed, and the medical team realized that something was wrong. As the operation dragged on, a growing fear filled the operating room. Suddenly, alarms began to sound. Isabelle had gone into cardiac arrest. “She’s going into arrest!” shouted a nurse. In an instant, the room became a whirlwind of activity.

Dr. López, the lead surgeon, moved quickly, directing the team with precision. Dr. Martínez adjusted the anesthesia and administered emergency medications. Every second counted as the team fought to stabilize her. After several attempts, they finally managed to restore her pulse. The operating room, once filled with tension, was flooded with a sigh of relief.

With Isabelle’s heart beating again, the team continued the surgery, this time with renewed determination. Finally, after hours of hard work, Dr. López announced that they had finished. Isabelle was transferred to the recovery room, where she began to awaken. Her body felt heavy and confused, but the sound of the monitors reminded her that she had overcome a great battle.

As she regained consciousness, she found herself in a calm silence. When she opened her eyes, she saw a nurse approaching, who explained what had happened and assured her that she was okay. Over time, Isabelle began to understand what she had experienced. Although she had faced an overwhelming challenge, she had come through it.

Her recovery was a gradual process. With each passing day, her strength returned, along with her determination to live fully. She joined support groups, shared her experience on social media, and became a health advocate. Her story resonated with others facing similar situations, inspiring them to keep fighting.

A year after the surgery, Isabelle signed up for a charity 5K run, a goal she had set for herself before her diagnosis. On the morning of the race, she felt a mix of emotions. As she ran, each step reminded her of her struggle and the life she had regained. Crossing the finish line brought tears to her eyes, but this time they were tears of joy and gratitude. She had faced her fear and emerged victorious.

Isabelle had not only survived an illness; she had learned to live again, with a new perspective and a deep appreciation for each day. Her story became a testament to resilience, reminding others that even in the darkest moments, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

#medfet #surgery #anesthesia #intubation

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a-d-nox · 2 months ago

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nox tests hypotheses: "saturn tells you what annoys you"

this is one of shawtyherbs hypotheses. this is how i feel this manifests for me in my chart and why i believe this hypothesis works. my saturn is located in my 3h, in taurus at 29°... let's take deep dive!

taurus saturn

a lack of discipline: i feel like i have a strong work ethic - i value hard work. i despised when i did group work in school and i was paired up with procrastinators or people who were unwilling to put in the necessary effort to achieve a good grade. it felt like every time i had my part done i would start getting anxious that the other person/people didn't. it felt like a manipulation - like we were playing chicken. if they didn't do it, would i do it for them? how long did they have to wait until i stepped in?

instability and unpredictability: sudden changes, chaotic environments, and erratic behavior can make me uncomfortable, anxious, and annoyed. i guess it's sort of like a trauma response from childhood except now i get irritable... everyone know my dislike for surprises.

wastefulness: i get easily irritated by wastefulness, whether it's wasting time, money, or resources. again maybe its from my childhood and having those experiences. but i am the type of person who arrives on time. if i buy something and don't like it i use it until it's gone, i eat it til its gone (even if its stale), or i use it til its paid itself off (if i buy a shirt and can't return it and it was $30, i am wearing it 30 times). it sounds strange - i know - but it is how i am...

superficiality: i really value authenticity. i feel like i am easily annoyed by superficial behavior, materialism without substance, and people who put on mask to fit in... like so what if you don't laugh at someone's shit joke, so what if i am happy with my hydroflask and want nothing to do with a stanley (it's all the same to me), and who cares if your true self is not everyone's favorite (you'll find your people a whole lot faster if you're your self).

resisting practicality: you know how much advice i have given throughout the years THAT WAS ASKED FOR and people did what they wanted anyway??? why even waste my time if you don't want outside perspective. or something its just kind advice to help with ease like hi you are using a stain on the deck, i recommend you wipe as you go so it dries quicker and you don't accidentally smear/smudge later. but nooooo.....

saturn at 29°

arrogance: you know it's okay to be wrong... it's not okay to pontificate about how you were right in some alternate scenario. just admit you were wrong in this situation and move on or better yet say nothing...

irresponsibility: when you say you are going to do something do it. if you are a leader then lead and know that you are responsible for anything you designate to someone you view as your subordinate (especially when you don't train them on what you want them to do for you). if you can't commit to having a task or being in charge than don't do it. someone is relying on you - it's 10 times worse when its yourself and you push goals to the side.

unfounded claims/criticisms: perhaps i am overly sensitive to criticism because i tend to take my work and my self a bit too seriously. but if you can't take yourself and what you do seriously, then who will? i take everything personally too. so when i get criticism and its said in a nasty way (at least how i interpret it) or there is a lack of explanation or no backing i will get annoyed. you bet my humor will be ill-tempered... you can't expect me to react well to a comment like "you're wrong". like wow okay so detailed, i'm glad you decided to write one word and a contraction to dismiss my 2k essay. like if you are going to criticize me or disprove me make it detailed and make it sound. and if i do something wrong its probably because no one told me how to do it in the first place (cough cough work) so don't snap at me, walk me through it.

lack of respect: now listen - i'm no angel, i was a teenager once - eyerolls and all. but now that i am a bit older (she said at 23) i am getting to the point where respect isn't freely given (unless its to build a good first impression) but instead its earned in a pre-existing relationship. i don't tolerate disrespect, no one is going to snap at me and tell me what to do. you do that and you will get the opposite reaction that you expect from me (speaking from real life situations). asserting dominance doesn't make you worthy of respect, it makes you a bully.

superficial conversations: i said it why back when in one of my get to know me posts. i prefer deep, meaningful conversations and i find small talk / superficial chatter frustrating or pointless. like skip to the meat bruv - we don't have all this time for "hi how are you?" "good how are you?"

disorganization: a lack of structure, whether in communication, in a learning environments, or my daily routines, irritates me. i feel like it effects me most in the routine bit. weekends are my prime culprit because my schedule falls apart. during the week my meals and tasks are standardized, but on the weekend, i somehow manage to always get annoyed because i eat lunch late or what i had in my mind to do gets tossed aside...

gossip/rumors: i feel uncomfortable with gossip, i prefer facts and reliable knowledge. which i know facts seems shaky when i am posting the content i do... but generally facts over fiction in conversations. gossip and the like almost always gets me in trouble - i struggle with holding my tongue especially when i see someone regularly who has been gossiped about frequently. withholding information is a form of lying in my opinion - and lying makes me extremely uncomfortable.

impulsive decisions: i am trying to get better about this because i tend to carefully deliberate everything. but i don't like when others around me make impulsive decisions that effect me because it ruins the plan i already had in my mind. for example, last weekend i wanted to go to an all day fall festival with my mother (and yes i told her tuesday my plan) but last minute my mother's boyfriend-not-boyfriend said he needed her help with a project and it was going to be an all weekend thing. so friday night my plan went out the window. so quickly had to make a new plan consisting of paid readings, trader joe's, and shampooing my couch (fun stuff i know...).

a lack of respect for rules/boundaries: a disregard for social norms, etiquette, and established rules of communication annoys me so badly. like it is common courtesy (at least for how i was raised) to call or write in advance of stopping over at someone's house. my mother's boyfriend-not-boyfriend is the biggest perpetrator of this behavior. they aren't technically dating anymore so hello hi in my opinion he should be giving us a heads up if he will be stopping over. also switching gears when i say "no" or "i don't want to" i feel like a lot of people around me push me and test me to see if i will change my tune. i don't appreciate that in the slightest. i make clear boundaries in all the relationships i have (even here i have guidelines) - so yes, you bet i get frustrated when i vocalized or wrote my boundaries and yet they get ignored.

do you have a hypothesis you want me to test? or perhaps you want me to build a hypothesis for something you've been wondering about where astrology is concerned? please use my "suggest a post topic" button if you want to see it happen!

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#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #natal chart #astrology tumblr #astro notes #astrology blog #astrology chart #natal astrology #astrology readings #astrology signs #astro #astrology stuff #saturn #shawtyherbs

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qqueenofhades · 9 months ago

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As someone whose country went through a brutal dictatorship, we still see the bleeding wounds it's left- even 50 years later. The idea of not exercising the right to vote is absolutely unthinkable to most citizens. Granted, voting is obligatory, but everyone I know does it voluntarily and enthusiastically. The discourse I hear around it in the US evidences a narrow perspective, which is so upsetting to see, especially within leftist spaces.

The right to vote is something every citizen must, sadly, defend. Most Latin American countries know all too well what happens when fascism and treason disguised as conservatism take centre stage. I hope it won't be too late when the people peddling anti voting crap to younger generations realise the harm it causes.

All around the world, the reason fascist authoritarian dictatorships of whatever ideology stay in power is precisely either because citizens aren't allowed to vote, the vote is outrageously rigged (think of the 99% margins routinely racked up in places like Russia and Venezuela) or they rely on repressing the vote through intentionally disheartening liberal, left-wing, progressive, or other similarly oriented voters, who often do much of the work themselves with constant internal attacks and purity tests and adopting the rhetoric of anti-voting propaganda in the name of purity. Despite all their populist claims to enact a monolithic Will of the People, all these anti-democratic authoritarian movements are terrified of a genuinely representative popular vote and will do anything to stop it, because it turns out that if you give them the choice, people anywhere in the world don't super like being repressed, extorted, and terrorized in the name of Ideology, and will give your tiresome fascist ass Das Boot.

In the American context, the Republicans have gone full masks-off illiberal authoritarianism and they desperately hate the idea of people voting, which is why they have filed endless lawsuits, passed endless restrictive laws, disenfranchised even their own voters, shrieked election fraud, and everything else to try to jerry-rig their position as extremist minority oligarchic rulers for life. Which is why it is befuddling, to say the least, to see people insist that voting doesn't work, it doesn't matter that much, it isn't an effective tool against fascism, it's Morally Wrong, or all the other idiot "justifications" they come up with. All you have to do is look at how fucking terrified the bad guys are of a minimally equitable electoral system (such as getting rid of the Electoral College, which would pretty much ensure a Republican never won the presidency again if it had to be selected by -- gasp! -- an actual nationwide popular vote). That's why I don't even buy into the "voting sucks and is the bare minimum" rhetoric that gets peddled as a sort of tempting carrot to get the recalcitrants to do it -- don't worry, you can still post your mean tweets about Biden and that totally is more effective! Voting is A BIG DEAL. Voting works. Americans don't realize this because they are lucky enough to never have lived in a country where it wasn't available to be taken for granted and therefore scoffed off.

Voting, having the right to vote, and the large-scale ability that it confers to change the structures of society, is a MASSIVELY powerful tool that has largely not been available to most people throughout history (and is still unavailable to a large chunk of the world today). That's why there were bitter and protracted battles to get women and African Americans the right to vote in America. That is why the GOP still particularly targets those voters today, because the simple act of exercising your civic franchise in your best interests (and therefore not in the MAGA TrumpCult's interests) is so terrifying to them. If it was meaningless, none of this would matter. But it does.

Here, Imma make it real easy for you. If you have any reason to think your voter registration is lapsed, inactive, or nonexistent, if you have recently moved and don't know your status or your polling place or whether you get a mail ballot or whether your evil DeSantis governor has recently taken you off the rolls, or if you have never done it before, or if you want to do one basic thing to oppose fascism today, click this simple link. Do it.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts #VOTE YOU FUCKERS #then get off my lawn

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capricorn-0mnikorn · 2 months ago

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A few more thoughts on why I was, and remain, enraged by these words:

(A follow-up to this post: "Let's Play a Little Game, Shall We ... ?")

It can be frustrating for adults to deal with a health care system that appears to have little knowledge or interest regarding the changing needs of aging with a disability. A positive attitude makes a big difference, and developing relaxation techniques and coping skills can have a beneficial effect on mental and physical health.

When I was first diagnosed with cerebral palsy (C.P.) as a two-year old, back in 1966, the consensus among medical professionals was that intellectual disability was one of its more common symptoms. And, indeed, that was the first, knee-jerk diagnosis from the child psychologist who tested me.

[Note Well: The Stigmatization of Intellectual Disabilities is Wrong, and Undeserved. But the support needs for physical disabilities and intellectual disabilities are different, and misdiagnosis benefits no one]

Periodically, in the years since, I've gone looking for whatever is being written about cerebral palsy at the moment, to see if there's been any shift in that professional consensus. And I have been perennially disappointed.

On the particular night in September, 2012, when I'd stumbled upon the above quote, I'd already been going down that rabbit hole for many hours. And nearly every webpage on Cerebral Palsy I came across had three things in common:

They all had almost the exact same wording (leading me to believe that everyone was plagiarizing everyone else, and not actually writing from their own unique perspective)

They were all written toward an audience of parents of infants, or very young children who were newly diagnosed with C.P., and

Among all those recurring words I read were: "Devastating," "Debilitating," and "Severe."

(Very few of the webpages were clear, up top, about who had written them, but if I scrolled down and clicked the links in fine print at the very bottom, a majority of them turned out to be from law firms specializing in medical malpractice)

I was spiraling deeper into depression and anger, when, at roughly 4 am, I came upon a pamphlet titled: "Aging With Cerebral Palsy." And it was: A) Written for Adults with C.P., and B) Did Not paint C.P. as an absolute tragedy.

.... Just when I was beginning to feel both seen and validated, and began to breath a little easier, I was smacked in the face with those two sentences: Acknowledging that no one actually cares about my welfare, and then telling me that I shouldn't be angry, or do anything to fight back.

And it hit me that the medical and social clinicians in whom I'm expected to place my trust were on the same team as those medical malpractice-pedaling lawyers:

All they're really interested in is selling their services to the parents with money -- promising that this medicine, that surgery, or X number of hours of physical therapy, will make their child "more normal," and make their condition all but invisible. Once we reach the age of majority, however, and they're required to get our consent (rather than that of our legal guardians), they lose interest in us.

There's little in common between autism and cerebral palsy, except that people in each camp have to deal with similar B.S. from the medical and educational "experts."

#ableism #growing up disabled #medical-industrial complex #disablism #cerebral palsy

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theladybrownstarot · 11 months ago

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What is coming next in your life soon ?

Namaste! I'm brown♡ everyone Jai shree hari bol ♡ I'm back with an another reading about what is coming next into your life soon ~ . Make sure follow/like/reblog/Comment for more content like these and if you wish to manifest these soon then comment freely♡ I will bless you . So ,choose pile(s) that attracts you most .

Pick a card reading ~

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Let's begin with it ..

Pile 1 .

Hi pile 1 ♡ hru? Let's begin with your reading:-

🤎 so I can see if you had financial troubles , feeling lonesome , hopeless , helpless, constantly with challenges then its all going to get sorted with some time . You are going to be your best supporter and will get to know what was right and wrong for you .

🤎 I can see travel on the card and that some travel related opportunities is coming to you . I sense that you will be more clear and direct about your things or any planning . Some you might buy a car or bike . You are going to finally find all the solutions to your question and will lead life seriously but in a flow . Someone might be coming to you and will offer you a help but won't be your soulmate.

🤎 oh my pile 1 really you have some through some tough dealss but now yay you won't be holding yourself back . You are attracting , building and manifesting the greatest version of you with all you got .

🤎 But pile 1 your determination , belief , will , hard-work all together your commitment will be tested so before that you need to do some healing . Good family relations and friend relationship can be seen protected .

Pile 2 .

Hi pile 2 ♡ hru? Let's begin with your reading :-

🤎 some of you might have been gone through some past hurtful situations , must have been overthinking a lot or had not a good time with your emotions but now i can see you being emotionally stable , having a good control over your thoughts , changing your perspectives and approach to regular situations and starting to see a ray of hope again .

🤎 You must be bit defensive when someone point you out but considering that there was no mistake of yours . I can see such things changing because you will be making changes inside so externally the environment doesn't stop or block you emotionally and mentally . you will sum up all your experiences and lesson ad will apply it .

🤎 your wishes and goals are finally coming true and making you feel confident about your next goals and plans in life . I can see a drastic change or transformation coming up for you which will be very much needed . You will become good manifestors .

🤎 I guess you should check pile 1 too . your hard-work will pay off through the self healing process . some of you could be capricorn moon too . leaving toxicity and adopting self-love more .

Pile 3.

Hi pile 3 ♡ hru? Let's begin with your reading :-

🤎 some of you might be becoming cool lol sarcastic or maybe that's in your nature to also tease others . Some of you maybe going to a beach or somewhere around watery or to a international trip . You are attracting someone you will going to love , maybe your crush and you will be together and i see someone coming to you but you not paying attention to them . You have left behind all and have come to state to take a break and enjoying your life .

🤎 You are becoming bold , brave and courageous . If you were a person who would run away instantly after seeing any wrong situation then i see you becoming such a person who will face situations and things . you going to take a lead ahead by yourself .

🤎 You will be coming up with any ideas and options to explore . I sense some of you could have the passion for writing maybe . If you want to choose a career ahead in this like in your passion or hobby then go ahead because i can see that when you will listen to your heart you will achieve wonders. some of you could change your life style or will leave behind some things that no longer served you .

🤎 you are being advised to communicate more with others who are like you and try to bring love ,compassion and kindness in things . Most importantly be confident .

The end of the reading .

NOTE: make sure you like/reblog/Comment and most importantly follow if you want more life related and spiritual content. Comment down to claim the energies and any appreciation Will be appreciated a lot . Love you a lot.

#theladybrownstarot #free tarot #pac #tarot reading #tarot community #tarotblr

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itjazzbicch · 1 year ago

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Hunger

Pairing: Havik x Vaeternian(Vampire)!Reader

First time writing for Havik, so I hope I did well!

Summary: As friends/allies, the reader is blindsided before meeting with Havik to discuss important matters, starving as some time had passed before their meeting, and when Havik sees their condition, their friendship begins to show...

Warnings: Mentions of blood, blood-sucking, mentions of injury. (Havik being a little soft because that's what I want lol) Havik's tower ending spoiler (kinda lol)

(Had this idea in mind and could only see it working with Havik for some reason)

Word Count: .6k

"You conquered Seidou, huh?" As much as Havik disliked the wholesome word, friends, that's what we were, happy that my friend accomplished his goal, "I knew you would."

"Something's wrong-"

We were supposed to meet as I hoped to take a big step in my plan to save my kind in the realm of Vaeternus, but I was blindsided before meeting here.

In the dark forest, it was hard to see; stepping into the moonlight, my face showed that I was drained, and the one distinctive part of me was now missing.

"Your wings-" The moonlight revealed the anger in his eyes, rage on his scarred face, and in his voice, "What happened?!"

"Simple-minded scum hating my kind, as always," I sighed, going to him, but stumbling into a tree, slowly sinking to the ground, explaining as he came to me, searching for my wings and not wanting to accept the truth, "They clipped my wings, Havik. They're gone now."

"Who did this?" Staring deep into my eyes, I could see the chaos that this created in his mind and how badly he wanted to release it, "I'll kill them."

"There's no need. I already did that," The wounds left behind after my wings were clipped left me considerably weakened; I managed to dispose of the assassin who was sent to kill me, but I was too weak to put myself in danger and not able to use my intuitive tactics now that my wings were gone, Havik realizing what was most threatening at that moment:

"You haven't eaten, have you?"

"Not since I ate that assassin," I hated how my stomach felt like an endless pit at times; now, starving on top of being wounded, the future wasn't very bright from my perspective; apologizing to Havik with a whisper, "I'm sorry, but I'm useless now."

"Don't talk like you're a weakling," Kneeling at my side, he was always hellbent on whatever task lay ahead of him and expected me to be the same way, "You're not useless, just hungry, right?"

"Very," I sighed, taken aback as he titled his head, presenting his neck to me:

"What are you waiting for?"

"A-Are you sure?" My rumbling hunger had my mouth water at the sight of his neck, but he was my friend; something in my heart conflicted with that hunger, making me hesitant.

"Yes," He huffed with impatience, rolling his eyes, so I picked myself up and rubbed the side of his neck, cooing:

"Relax, so it doesn't hurt that bad."

"Pfft, sure-"

I warned him, hunger's desperation was no longer tolerable, my fangs sinking into his neck, feeling the bit of tenseness as I pierced his skin and flesh. The first drop of blood had me humming, trying not to suck him dry.

This was more of a test of self-control rather than a feeding session. I'd never tasted anyone like him before. The taste was distinct and was urging me to be ravenous, my hums growing with every swallow, even running a hand through his hair, but his chaotic ways made me side-eye him as he was groaning and laughing:

"Ngh, ha-ha, hmm."

"Enjoying yourself?" I toyed as I picked myself up, not full, but not starving, so I was grateful, cleaning his neck with my tongue before kissing the bite softly, "Thank you for that."

He wasn't responding to me, unsure of what he was doing, till I felt his fingertips tracing up my back, wincing at the lingering pain as he trailed the slow healing wound where my wings were before.

"This is going to take some time to heal," He observed, showing a side of himself that I never imagined existing as he rubbed my side, the tone in his whisper sparking something within me, "And yeah, I did. I like the pain."

He was a maniac, but I think that's what I liked most about him; I chuckled at him with a smile as I shook my head, "Only you would."

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x y/n #mortal kombat fluff #mortal kombat imagine #mortal kombat oneshot #havik #havik x reader #havik x y/n #havik imagine #havik fluff #havik oneshot #read and enjoy

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son1c · 1 month ago

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anyways. i just remembered that as i was falling asleep last night i had an idea for 10verse. it's about how it ends, because it was never going to end the same way as the show. i was left extremely dissatisfied by the canon ending, and having everything undone and erased doesn't sit right with me.

so, i was thinking that after shadow carries a fading sonic back through the gateway to green hill, the paradox prism disappears. each shard has been returned to its rightful dimension, where they'll stay. the shard for green hill, though, also mysteriously disappears. where did it go? it's unclear for now...

from the perspective of eggman and sonic's friends, the paradox prism was there one second and gone the next. because they're all still in that cave, and it's like no time passed for them. but now the prism (and sonic and shadow) are gone. eggman is pissed and figures sonic must've done something and he's not entirely wrong. but amy, knuckles, tails, and rouge won't let him off the hook so easily... even though it appears that his plan failed.

sonic and shadow, meanwhile, reappear in green hill at the loop-de-loop. shadow is relieved to see that he managed to get sonic back to green hill before he faded away completely, but... something's not right. it's like, a parallel to the scene where sonic rescues shadow from the megaflora. sonic's there, in shadow's arms, but he's out cold.

nothing shadow does seems to wake him up. for the first time, shadow misses the sound of sonic's annoying quips. it's dire. they said they'd see the return of their world TOGETHER, and at this point, after everything they've been through, shadow isn't willing to let sonic go until he sees that promise through.

some angst later and shadow's turned sonic over to tails (who is 1. shocked to see him and 2. assumes shadow did something to sonic). shadow's as cryptic as ever which doesn't inspire much trust in tails, but shadow doesn't SEEM to have bad intentions right now, so he'll tolerate him... for now. tails runs some tests on sonic and sees a HUGE reading for a type of energy he's never seen before.

as it turns out, by restoring green hill, the prism shard native to their world decided to find a new home in the one place that was already infused with its energy: sonic. this is because the "prime" prism shard can't survive on its own. unlike the smaller shards, the prime shard has to have other shards to cycle its energy through. that's why it was originally clumped together with the new yoke, no place, boscage maze, and null space shards. without those symbiotic shards, the prime shard will overflow with energy and... shatter. ;)

#10verse

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explorationsoftheid · 1 year ago

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Autism: A Senior Perspective

Recently there was a post on here where someone was saying how everyone automatically hates us because of our autism. How they may act nice to our face, but trash talk us once we’re out of earshot. How everyone will abuse, even kill us, because they can’t stand our autism. I replied that they were just wrong about that. That everyone doesn’t automatically hate us.

The more I thought about it though, the more I saw this was an opportunity for those of us who are older and are autistic, to share our perspectives, our experiences. I think it might help those who are young to know what we went through, how we coped, how our lives have turned out. Most importantly that it can get better.

I’ll start:

I’m 62 years old. Looking back with what I know now it’s clear that I was definitely autistic as a child. Today, my teachers would have pressed to get me tested, but in the 1970s, well autism wasn’t on anyones radar. I doubt my parents would have gone along with that anyway. They were the, “Straighten up and do what you’re supposed to”, and “Boys don’t cry” attitude so common of their generation. I had significant trouble with social interactions, I stuttered, and fought like hell to not melt down in loud and overwhelming situations. Public school was unfortunately full of those. I liked procedure and process, there was a right way and a wrong way to do things and I would get upset if someone broke ‘the rules’. I would obsess over particular subjects. Actually I drove some of my teachers nuts. They would give me a writing assignment and I would turn in a top quality report, but I would have somehow twisted what they wanted into what I wanted to write about.

High School was very confusing. People started dating and going to dances, and all that. I kept asking, only half as a joke if I had missed a class or something because it was all so strange to me. I went off to University and really did well there. My grades weren’t good, (I had to work well over full time to afford to stay in school) but I loved academia. The order, the quiet of the library, being able to study a subject that I was totally onto because I had chosen it as my major. The people I worked with, at all of my jobs, grew to understand my ‘quirks’ and were fine with them. I only wish I hadn’t had to work so much. My middling grades meant that by the time I graduated, I was mentally exhausted, and didn’t qualify for Grad School.

So, I got a job and had to move across the country. There I met someone who I have spent the succeeding 36 years with. They understand me, accept that sometimes I’m a bit odd. Sometimes I react badly to things. Sometimes I just have to say no, and they roll with that.

So I’m now approaching retirement. In the last few years I finally figured out that autism was the reason for all the trouble I’ve had over the years. I’m not lazy, or dumb, or anything like that, I’m autistic. I’m neurodivergent, and that’s the way it is. The worst time frankly was in my childhood and my teens. Since then I’ve learned how to deal with the world. I’ve found people who like me for me, people I don’t have to mask or put on an act around. I’ve found other autistic people and am not the only one anymore. I figured out what jobs suited my talents, and limitations (Retail? No! Computer Wizard or someone who makes things work in the background? Yes!) I’m approaching retirement and honestly things are going pretty well now.

So fellow Autistic Seniors, (That is to say anyone that thinks of themselves as older than most), what was your experience living your life as an autistic person? How have things turned out for you? What advice would you give to children or teens that are struggling to cope?

#autistic adult #autistic community #autism community #autism #autistic experiences #autistic #neurodivergent #autistic feels #actually autistic #autistic culture

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skelliko · 9 months ago

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Hello! I hope you're doing well!🪄

I wanted to request some head-canons? For both Ran and Rindou ...

How would they act with a s/o that has BPD? Which one would feel more hesitant about the relationship? How do they act when the s/o pushes them away but immediately clings on them when they try to leave?

If you don't feel like writing this it's totally understandable so no worries!!! Love you<3

a/n: sorry if I got anything wrong here I do apologise if I have, i tried to gain as much information as I could about it but also not add a lot, I don't mean to offend anyone. love you too stay safe <3

ran + rindou haitani |°- s/o with BPD

°- Rindou Haitani

• he would test the waters from a distance, I reckon he's more smarter and closed off than ran when it comes to relationships and knowing of your bpd makes all the difference from thinking it over and playing out scenarios about what you would be like even with very little information about the disorder. all he knows is bpd makes someone think in black and white, but is that really true?

• he'd get close to you but then take a huge step backwards to recollect his thoughts about you, he's aware on how complex the disorder is but he only knows the surface levels of bpd not what could potentially uncover. but part of him wants to try and not think too much about it and rather think about you as a person

• sometimes he's a busy person and has to cancel plans that the two of you have made, at this point he knew you could turn to be upset but he didn't expect that part of your perspective on him to turn south. now he triple makes sure that when you make plans it'd be consistent and not on days when rindou is supposed to do other things.

• he gives into your clinginess, he tried to match the energy but the way you love him is unmatched but he loves that part about you. but after some amount it gets tiring, he's taken consideration of that beforehand but wasn't aware of how much negativity you can also bring out if rindou did something that made you switch up. always thinking about his words and what to do to show you that he loves you the way you love him. even despite asking himself on how fast you can love, but he goes along with it either way.

• when he's in a position where you want to be left alone as if your battery has gone past it's drained limit, he ponders a little. standing in the middle of the room 🧍 wondering if that's truly what you want but doesn't verbally ask. all before turning his direction towards the door to leave. he probably made at least 10 steps away from your home before he felt his phone go off with your messages popping up to tell you to come back and how you're sorry for making him leave like that.

• he complied though. with a few complaints in his mind but he didn't exactly want to you leave you like that and upon feeling your tightening and warm grasp after stepping foot in again it made him feel certain emotions. something like that will happen again he just knows it, but hes not mad, maybe a little annoyed but he will come turning back towards you if you plead nicely. he just only hopes that it stays to this sort of extent and not anything more.

°- Ran Haitani

• I feel like he would be curious about you, he'd dive in and test the waters with a hand and then fall in but ponder whether or not if he should get out of the water. he wants to know how deep the pool is and if theres anything he could find that he doesn't see from the surface. he's daring himself to find out what you're like.

• previously he knew so little about bpd, he only knew things from what he's heard and the stereotypical things that people say, but over time he realised that there's so much more to you than what he's heard, and that's what made him more curious than hesitant in wanting to hold your hand.

• when he realised that he became, on what people call, to be your 'favourite person' he had a small intrigued smile on his face but his brain was running in different directions, is that a good or bad thing? hes more than noticed your loving side towards him and despite all that curiosity and wanting to know more, that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel anything for you.

• he feels hurt when you push him away to be left alone but then gets confused and a little annoyed when he follows through but you end up not liking that, or how you don't respond to his messages but get angry when he doesn't reply to yours. it's like you're always contradicting yourself.

• he couldn't keep up with you isolating yourself and not knowing if your alright. but if it's a request that you want to happen with no questions then he'll follow by it to not make you any more upset than you already are at the moment. even though he wishes he doesn't have to.

• though after turning his back on you and to make his way to the door he heard your voice and next thing he knows your trying to make him stay longer, hugging him with so much emotion to the point where if you squeezed harder you would have merged your soles together.

• he's trying his best to make you happy though, sure sometimes it's hard for the both of you to keep up but if space is what you want then he'll give it, and if you want him with you then hell also give you himself. he's hard on himself and is in a state of wishing that he could know what the next day would be like for you two but he doesn't and won't cast you aside if that helps, despite how confusing and anxious ran gets.

♡----

#out of character for sure #tokyo revengers #ran haitani #rindou haitani #rindou x reader #ran x reader #haitani brothers #ran #rindou #tokyo revengers headcanons

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antianakin · 4 months ago

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I hope you don’t mind me asking—but I have GOT to hear your thoughts on the newest Acolyte episode having the line that basically indirectly blames the Jedi for their own genocide. Like—it’s not OUTRIGHT—but it’s still so obviously blatant that’s what the showrunner was winking and nudging at to the SW audience that hates the Jedi. 😭💔🤦‍♀️

It was disgusting, to be honest. 😒

I'm not watching the show, so I just found a post that talked about the line and to be honest, it's no worse than what we've been getting in so much other media these days. The Ahsoka show had Ahsoka condemn the Jedi for "failing" because they wouldn't train literally everyone to wield the Force, indirectly blaming them for what happened to them while directly exonerating Anakin for betraying them and murdering their children by claiming it was just "destiny" and done "for love". The Ahsoka show also had a fallen Jedi character claim he only missed "the idea of" the Jedi, but that the "truth" of them was that they were weak and had no future and that they were just part of an endless cycle of violence that made them not really any different to the Sith. Jedi: Fallen Order has a fallen Jedi character who condemns the Jedi for having been fallen " long before the Purge. Stifled by tradition. Deafened by our past glories." Jedi: Survivor had a fallen High Republic Jedi character condemn the Jedi for allowing the Empire to rise and calls them failures.

So this is so far from the first time the Jedi have gotten blamed for their own genocide recently. It's not even the first time we've heard this kind of condemnation from a High Republic character. Headland stated from the beginning that the whole point of this show was to criticize the Jedi and show the how things "went wrong" in order for them to become the Prequels Jedi, which means it's not at all shocking that there's a pretty explicit implication about the Jedi ultimately being responsible for their own genocide. That's always been her agenda, her ultimate theme and message with this story. Nothing about this is new or unique or shocking at all. It's a little disappointing that this is what Star Wars is becoming, but it's not ALL that Star Wars is becoming.

We still have the Obi-Wan Kenobi show, which made sure to place the blame squarely where it belonged and had a character whose entire motivation was grief over the deaths of the Jedi. We have Visions, which, despite including stories written by almost 20 separate teams from different countries, ALWAYS understands who the good guys and bad guys are in Star Wars and regularly includes stories that resonate with Lucas's actual themes from his films (they're also generally just exquisitely made short stories with some beautiful animation). And we have shows like Andor which mostly just ignores the Jedi entirely because they aren't relevant to Cassian's story and because it's trying to tell the story from a different perspective, but it follows the exact same themes as Lucas's original films did and is a beautiful follow-up to some of the themes that existed with the Prequels Jedi.

And while things like Rebels, Jedi: Fallen Order, and Jedi: Survivor have their moments of Jedi criticism, they're VERY small and the main characters are still Jedi who are incredibly proud of BEING Jedi and have to go through all the same tests that any Jedi would've gone through and they come out the other end as wonderful, selfless, compassionate Jedi. There's themes of having to let go of those you love (whether through death or just relationships drifting apart or people needing to go their own way for a while even if it means leaving you behind), of having to let go of your anger and fear before it consumes you and turns you into the monster you seek to destroy, and of mercy and acceptance and understanding being central to healing the galaxy's wounds. So while these stories aren't 100% Jedi criticism free, they are probably 99% Jedi positive and at most 1% Jedi critical.

So as frustrating as it is that Jedi criticism has become so common that there is an ENTIRE SHOW built around it as a foundation, it's also so so easy to disregard it and ignore it if you want to. The Acolyte is, fortunately, not all that connected to the main storylines. You do not need The Acolyte in order to understand or enjoy a lot of the rest of the story. You can completely ignore The Acolyte and pretend it doesn't exist and it will change NOTHING. Go rewatch The Obi-Wan Kenobi show, or Visions, or Andor and remember how good Star Wars can be when it's written by someone who CARES about the story and the message it was always supposed to send to people.

#star wars #jedi #pro jedi #anti acolyte #anti the acolyte #acolyte negativity #the acolyte negativity #acolyte salt #the acolyte salt #acolyte critical #the acolyte critical #leslye headland critical #headland critical #anti headland #anti leslye headland #anti ahsoka show #ahsoka show negativity

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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 10 months ago

Text

Prominence [A.1]

Social Media AU ; Idol AU ; Added Unit AU CW/TW: Language Genre: Comedy, Romance Pairing: NCT x Idol!Reader, Yangyang x Reader Y/N Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 5.5K

(1/?) [NCT Masterlist] | [Other Groups Masterlist] | [Prominence S1 Masterlist] | [Prominence S2 Masterlist]

Notes: AKA me wanting to write an alternate season where all of us second-male-lead-syndrome bitches won. Also, rq, should go without saying but this is completely separate from S2 and will not be referenced in S3, I just like being delusional. Also this is a direct branch from s1, it's an alternate season soooo yah Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

28th December 2021

You were a mess.

And, really, he didn't blame you. Back-to-back scandals leaving everything on the line, if he were in your shoes he'd have isolated himself too. Maybe he wouldn't have shut everyone out, but, then again, he hasn't exactly been in this situation before, feeling like everything could have been gone in the blink of an eye. He's never felt so... hopeless.

Not when you forgot his name. Not when you didn't do so much as spare him a glance. Not when you didn't remember him when you were grouped into NCThree. Not when you announced that you were dating who was, most likely, one of the most eligible bachelors in the 4th gen.

And not now, he wouldn't let himself. Look at you, he'd never seen you like this, and he never thought he would too.

And then the fantasy ended. Leaving you here with him, two soju bottles in and a third being opened. And a secret tossed into the open when it should have been kept locked away.

'(Y/N) you have to promise me that nothing will change after this, okay?' He said that and you swore to him that nothing would. But he knew, he knew this was a bad idea, so why did he want to keep going with it so bad?

“(Y/N). You’re my best friend,” saying it out loud really puts more into perspective, “[and I love you].” Those three words carried so much weight that as soon as he said it, he felt his shoulders become lighter. You only nodded.

“Yangyang, you’re my best friend, and I love you too,” you laughed. You didn’t get it. “That’s not really a secret, buddy. I’d take a bullet for you,” you continued. Yangyang shook his head. He expected this much, but now that he has to spell it out, it feels even more awkward.

“No, (Y/N), you don’t get it,” he puts his hand on your shoulder now. “You’re my best friend. And I love you.” He said it again, and still the weight carried. It felt wrong to tell you this now.

“I… oh,” realization was clear in your eyes. Your lips fell slightly ajar as the cogs turned in your mind. They closed and you looked away for a moment. Yangyang pulled away from you and folded his hands together instead, looking off while you processed. You were quiet for a while, both of you were, your hands were playing with the cap of the soju bottle in front of you while your expression changed only slightly, and it got Yangyang wondering just what you were thinking in your head.

But you were still quiet, you have been quiet. Just what were you thinking about? There was always this pride you both held in being able to understand what the other was thinking but, for the first time, he couldn't read you at all.

"(Y/N)?" He's testing the waters now. You promised.

"I think... we should head back now," you pushed the bottle away. Yangyang turned away from you and straightened in his seat.

"Yeah, let's go," he nodded his head and waited for you to step off the stool first before following you.

"Auntie, we're leaving now," you said without looking back.

And that was the first time, in a very long time, that Yangyang had felt hopeless.

"She didn't say anything?" Dejun was at the edge of his seat, and so were the rest of WayV, Renjun, and, of course, Mark. Yangyang had just finished recounting the [details from just a few hours] earlier to this grouping of curious members, and, to say the least, their expressions were grim or near unreadable. Some listened intently, while others seemed to be distracted.

"Nothing... just... 'oh' and that was it, that was the end of the conversation," Yangyang's eyes glance to some corner of his room. Not a good time, he knows he should have waited, it was too rash on his part.

"What did she say on the way back? Or when you got back?" Mark probes.

"Nothing," Yangyang had this despair in his eyes. "I... I think I really ruined things between us," he shakes his head.

"No, don't say that," Kun comforts him. "She's probably just processing everything right now, you know it wasn't really the best time to drop this on her."

"I know!"

"Then why did you do it?" Renjun sighs.

"Hey, don't be like that, you're the one who encouraged me to tell her the truth."

"Well not right now, Yangyang," he groans.

"But... she really didn't say anything? This is (Y/N), right? No smart quips, no badly timed jokes, nothing?" Mark hugs the plush to his chest.

"That's what's got me so worried," Yangyang rubbed the back of his head harshly. "She promised nothing would change, though."

"Seriously, Yangyang?" Ten groans. "Everything will change."

"Dude, not now, I know I shouldn't have dropped this on her now," he runs a tired hand down his face. "I know... I know it was selfish of me to have even said anything, but part of me felt like it would've been more unfair to keep it a secret from her, especially when there are just so many secrets around her right now," he mutters.

"No, you're right... but I think I'm gonna go check on her," Mark stands up, handing the stuffed animal to Renjun on the way. "She's... she's my best friend too, I feel bad about lying to her," he shakes his head and leaves the room.

"I fucked up," Yangyang shakes his head. He should have waited. "I don't even know how I'm going to fix it."

"Maybe don't," Kun offers, "I can't speak for her, but everything seems to be out of her control for now, wait for her to get back to you on this."

"Yeah, I get what you mean," Yangyang nods, "but I can't just... pretend that it didn't happen."

"No, definitely don't do that," Xiaojun shakes his head. Ten nods.

"Don't pretend, but don't push either," Ten hums, "and, most important of all, don't ignore her," he shoots him a pointed glare. "She needs friends right now, and her best friend even more. Don't be Yangyang the doomed second male lead, be Yangyang her best friend," Ten crosses one leg over the other.

"Easier said than done, I don't think we'll ever look at each other the same way again," he runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Well, she promised that nothing would change, right?" Renjun leans forward, "I don't know (Y/N) as well as you do, but I do know that she keeps her promises. Just give her time, and maybe support her while her career hangs on by a thread," Renjun sighs.

"Yeah, you're all right," Yangyang leans back on his palms. But he couldn't swallow down the guilt.

You sat in your room, hugging your pillow to your chest all the while.

Wow... talk about timing.

You sighed into the pillow and reached for your phone, your thumb hovering over Seonghwa's contact name, and so much more guilt building inside of you. So much shit was going on right now, you were thrown into scandal after scandal and now you had... this to deal with. Most of ATEEZ had always been concerned about your friendship with Yangyang, some louder about it than others, but never did you think that they were right. Maybe the fact that enough of them brought it up should have been a concern to you.

But you didn't want to believe them. You just wanted to hold on to this image you had of your best friend that he was just that. And now so many of his actions have become clouded to you, so many of his intentions have been brought to question, hell, even your friendship with him is in the air now too. Even your future was something you were unsure of now. You couldn't just stop talking to him, that would be impossible considering NCThree. Then again, you were in very real danger of losing your job now so it wasn't impossible.

This is nothing, though, compared to the bigger conflict. You're still in a relationship, a very happy one, or at least you think it is.

So why didn't you give him an answer then? You should have flat-out told him 'no.' You should have rejected him right then and there and had the both of you move on and continue like it hadn't happened, but, no. You didn't give him an answer. And if it was eating you up like this you could only imagine him. How long had he felt this way about you?

If he was a year earlier, maybe things would have been different.

You shook the thought out of your head. You're in a relationship. And one that you were willing to fight for, one that you had been fighting for.

Then, a knock at your door interrupted your thoughts.

"It's open," you took a deep breath as Mark entered, closing the door behind him. He pulled your desk chair aside and sat down, hands in his hoodie's pockets and shoulders relaxed.

"Hey, I... uh... I just wanted to check up on you," he says. You nodded your head and, if possible, you sank further into that pillow you were holding.

"You talked to Yangyang, huh?"

"Yeah," Mark nodded, "but you're my best friend too, and to be honest, don't tell him, if I had to pick a side I'd always choose you first," he says quietly.

"Why would we need to pick sides?" You glanced at your phone again. "It's okay, Mark, you don't have to worry about anything, but if he's looking for an answer..." you trailed off, "I can't give him one."

"If you don't mind, can I ask why?" You're silent for a while.

"Well, I don't want to just heartlessly reject him, he's still my best friend too," you nodded, "I need to come up with a... better way to turn him down without ruining his ego forever," you added with a short laugh, "plus... I can't really think about what he said right now," you muttered.

"I get it, I get it," Mark hums, "but... uh..."

"I know, I promised nothing would change but... Mark, you understand where I'm coming from, right?"

"Of course, I do," Mark sits up a little now, "will... will the three of us change?" His voice was quiet and you couldn't answer him.

"I don't know, I think I'm going to wait for all this to blow over then he and I can figure it out," you said.

"Yeah," Mark answers but he doesn't sound convinced, "if you need anything, though, (Y/N), let me know."

"Can you silence all the rumors?" You asked jokingly.

"Eh, I can probably pull a few strings," Mark tilts his head left and right with a small smile, "you said it yourself, everyone loves me," he tries to lighten the mood and you cracked a small smile.

"Exactly, Mark," you tipped the pillow toward him, "but, seriously, thanks for checking up on me," you nuzzled your head into the pillow.

"Yeah, of course," he says. "I should probably head back now, get some sleep, (Y/N)."

"I will, good night," you watched him get up and head to your door.

"Night," he closes it behind him and you're left on your own again. You laid down in bed, going over your mental checklist of things to do tomorrow, the first thing, naturally, would be to call Seonghwa and tell him about everything that's going on, then you'd have to talk to your managers and sort everything out too, and maybe some damage control wouldn't hurt either. Then, as you closed your eyes, your phone rang on the nightstand next to you and you picked it up quickly, immediately recognizing the ringtone.

"Seonghwa?" Your voice was tired.

"Hey, could you meet me outside really quick?" And so was his. You stood up and walked over to your window. The sidewalks were anything but busy at this time of night.

"Yeah, I'll be down there," you hung up first while pulling on a hoodie and heading out of your room. The dorms were just as quiet as the outside likely was and you moved around carefully so as not to awaken anyone on accident. But, moving to the main room, you saw the small sliver of light coming from the WayV dorms and part of you felt a little sad about it. You turned away and left the dorms, the elevator ride down being unbearably longer than usual.

When you'd finally left the building, there Seonghwa was. His phone was still in his hand and Mars in the other.

"Hi," you looked either way before hugging him. He held you back, his head nuzzling against yours.

But something about it felt... off.

And when you separated, that feeling only grew.

"It's a bit late for a walk, don't you think?" You pet Mars gently with a smile.

"Yeah," he seemed distant. "I need to talk to you about something important," he says. You nodded.

"Anything, did you want to come inside? It's cold out here," you pointed behind you, but he shook his head. "Did something happen?" You asked him. He looked off for a moment before nodding.

"(Y/N)," he says your name, but it felt like it was being held down by a heavyweight, "I've been doing a lot of thinking," he says.

"Mmhmm," you nodded your head slightly, "me too," you answered. And you weren't wrong, there is so much that you both had to talk about in terms of this relationship and in lieu of all the scandals that suddenly appeared.

"Then you know," he says.

"Yeah," you nodded, "it'll take a lot of work, but I'm sure we'll be able to fight our way out of this, just like before, right?" You shot him a tired smile. He didn't return it. "Seonghwa?" You said his name carefully, but he shakes his head.

"I think..." he looks away for a moment, then he turns back to you and hands you Mars' leash. "You should watch him for a while, he's always trying to escape our place," he says. You nodded and Mars walked over to your side.

"Yeah, I'm always happy to take this rascal in," you scratched behind his ears. "But, I can tell that that's not what you're here for, huh?" You tried to look him in his eyes, but he averted from your gaze every time. And, slowly, you felt this pit form in your chest. "Is... are you okay?" You changed your question. He shakes his head and you took a step toward him, and he took a step back.

"I think we should go our separate ways, (Y/N)."

You're silent.

"I don't think now's a good time for either of us to be..." he didn't finish his sentence. And still, you were silent. Mars whimpered next to you, and still you didn't move. You kept looking at him.

"You're breaking up with me?" You asked him with a shaky voice. He looked at you with a gentle gaze. "Why?" Did you even need to ask?

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)," he says.

"Is it the rumors?"

"I-"

"Did I do something?"

"It's not that-"

"If it's because of Yang-"

"(Y/N), just wait, please," he says. You stop talking. "(Y/N), I just think... With everything going on right now, it might be best if we walk on our own for a while, let everything settle down," he says. You didn't respond. "And you're getting busy, so am I, we just won't have time to spend with one another," he continues. You looked down at the ground. "Say something, (Y/N), anything," he says. You looked to Mars, who's ears were down.

"What... what do you want me to say to that?" You looked at him and shook your head. "If I say 'no' then I'm selfish, and if I say 'yes' then everything we've been through together... was for nothing?" You swallowed harshly.

"It wasn't for nothing."

"Then why even break up in the first place?"

"I told you why," Seonghwa shook his head.

"That's not fair, Seonghwa, you know everything happening isn't my fault," your voice wavered. "That's not fair, you can't pin these on me," a noticeable whimper rose in your throat.

"It's not about the rumors, (Y/N), of course I know they're not true!" Seonghwa rarely ever raised his voice, and he knew he made a mistake when you sealed your lips shut. "I'm sorry, (Y/N), I don't think I can continue on with this anymore," he says. You clutched the leash tighter.

"You... that... that's not fair..." you muttered. "We've made it work before."

"(Y/N)."

"I don't think we should give up now."

"I... I can't, anymore."

"Why not?"

"I just can't!"

"That's not an answer, Seonghwa, we've been together for more than a year, you can do better than I can't!" Your voice rose and Seonghwa groaned in frustration.

"It's for me and for you," he says.

"Don't you dare make that decision for me," whatever disbelief you had was slowly being replaced with anger, "you..." you took a deep breath. It wouldn't be fair to him for you to refuse, and you just couldn't look him in the eye. "Fine," you whispered.

"(Y/N), I don't want us to end on a bad note."

"We're not," you shook your head, "but it's not on a good one either. Take however long you need, as long as you tell me eventually the real reason why you wanted to throw away a whole year," you shut your eyes tight, as if locking the tears away. Seonghwa reached out to you and you let him, and he held you close to him for a while, but you couldn't find it in you to hold him back.

"I'm sorry, it's for the best," he says. You shook your head. You couldn't say anything to him, it would've been selfish of you to hold him back when he didn't want to continue on and you could just tell that there was something else, something bigger, that he was keeping from you and if this was how he wanted to play it, without you, then that's his choice. He didn't ask for a break, he didn't leave hope to continue, he just chose to end it all.

"You..." you pushed away from him, "are horrible," you shook your head and you turned to leave. But Mars stood still, grabbing onto the leash between his jaws as if to pull you back. "Come on, Mars, let's go," you pulled on the leash gently, but he stayed put with a small whimper. You sighed and dropped the leash. "Then stay with him," you hugged your arms to your chest and you walked back into the building, taking one last look back. Seonghwa watched you with a distant look in his eyes, and you waited for a few moments, hoping for something, anything really. Was it too much for you to hope that he'd follow you in? Take it all back? Why was he just standing there? You shook your head, he did nothing, and you pushed the button for the elevator, and when it took too long you turned to the side and took the stairs instead. And with each step you looked at your phone, waiting and hoping to get a sudden call or text from him to come back down or to... do something, but, instead, all you saw was the time. 3:45am.

You walked back into the dorms, the main room was empty, dark, maybe a little messy but that was normal for this home. Most of all, it was quiet, everyone, you think, was still asleep or about to be. You felt like you were on autopilot since taking the stairs. Then, right as you turned to walk over to the ANiMA side, that door opened and Jihyun, headset around her neck, spotted you and smiled.

"Hey, you're up... what happened?" Her smile dropped and she walked over to you quickly to wipe the tears off your face with her hoodie's sleeve. You sniffled loudly and you held onto her hands.

"I... he... I..." you swallowed harshly, feeling your words get caught in your throat and turn into short gasps until you finally gave up and hugged her and she hugged you back, wrapping her arms securely around you while your sniffles turned into sobs, and you cried into her shoulder.

"Oh, it's okay, shh," she comforts you, rubbing the back of your head softly. "It's okay, (Y/N)." But you couldn't respond, your voice was being swallowed down. You let go of her first, but she kept her hand on your shoulder. "I know you must be under a lot of pressure right now, (Y/N)," she says. You nodded, but you still couldn't speak, you just pointed to the dorms and you walked off toward it, Jihyun following you as soon as she grabbed a cup of water for you, but when she entered your room, you weren't there. "(Y/N)?" She looks around until she sees the line of light under the bathroom door. "Oh... (Y/N)..." she leans on the wall against it.

You, meanwhile, lay on the ground. You came in here fully intending to just wash your face but, at one point, you were sitting on the floor, then you were on the ground staring at the wall.

What the hell?

What the hell was that?!

It's better for you and him?

What was better? How could this be better? Your whole fucking life is falling apart. You thought that if there was just one thing you had in control it was your relationship but apparently fucking not considering he just broke up with you with some bullshit excuse and... this sucks. Even your dog didn't want to go with you. How badly did you fuck up for him to think that it would've been good to... break up? You sighed and blinked the tears away, but it wasn't long before they were replaced. And so you covered your eyes with your hands instead.

That next morning, the NCT dorms were in chaos. Early morning schedules mixed with personal schedules had everyone up early and without the varying doses of caffeine those same people were cranky.

Such as this one. Jeno banged on the bathroom door.

"Jaemin, stop flexing in the mirror, I have to take a shit," he grumbles. There's no response. "Jaem, I'm serious!" He knocks on the door again and Saeron opens it, holding her shower caddy and blowdryer.

"Thanks for letting me use the bathroom, Jaemin! Sorry, Jen, I just had to take a quick shower," she pats his face and walks off. Jeno covers his mouth and gasps.

"Oh, fuck," his cheeks flush red with embarrassment.

"Who the hell is taking so long in the bathroom?!" Doyoung shouts. The other eight members of 127 looked among themselves and shrugged.

"Ay, wait in line! I'm next," Johnny tightens the towel around his waist and Jungwoo pulls out his toothbrush from his mouth.

"Mm whm ahm," Jungwoo says, mouth full of toothpaste. Finally, the door opens and Yeseul walks out.

"Thanks for letting me borrow your hellhole bathroom," she dries her hair with a towel and walks off, Doyoung's jaw dropping in the process.

"Em? Why were you using our bathroom?" Mark asks.

"Ours is quarantined," Yeseul shrugs.

"Oh, well, if (Y/N) needs to use it she can," he says.

"That's nice, I'll tell her once she leaves our bathroom," she walks out of the dorms.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Mark follows her out.

"Damn! You live like this?!" Jihyun's voice seemed to echo in the WayV dorms. She throws the door open, holding various skin products in hand. "There are no labels!" She has a wild look in her eyes.

"Yeah, there are!" Hendery argues.

"Guanheng! This literally says "Xiaojun's Thing" that's not a label!"

"Well, it's Xiaojun's so it's none of my concern," Hendery rests a hand on his hip and Yangyang opens his door.

"Jie? What are you doing here?"

"(Y/N) has been in the bathroom since 3 am and she's not coming out, and we all have schedules, but we love her, so we're letting her have her time by taking from yours," Jihyun explains, shoving the mystery skin products into Hendery's hands on her way out. Yangyang quickly follows her.

"Since 3 am?! Is she okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, she just needs a couple hours," Jihyun explains. When both walk into the ANiMA dorms, they see the crowd outside of the bathroom.

"(Y/N)?" Seojoon knocks on the bathroom door. "How long has she been in there?" He asks.

"Five hours now," Jihyun looks at the clock.

"(Y/N), we got schedules, I'm sure you look fine," Seojoon says. There's no answer. Saeron sighs and knocks on the door.

"(Y/N)? Honey, is everything okay?" She asks. Jihyun's lips downturn.

"She went out last night, around 3 am, I ran into her on her way in and she was crying," Jihyun explains and Saeron's shoulders dropped.

"(Y/N), we're worried about you, what happened?" Saeron asks. Again, no response.

"At least give us a sign you're alive," Yeseul leans against the door and a loud thud resounds against it. "She's fine," Yeseul nods. "Who am I beating up?" She asks. No response. Then her phone rings with your caller ID on it, and it wasn't long before she answered. "(Y/N)?"

"Sorry..." your voice was tired and scratchy from crying. Yeseul put it on speaker and the girls crowded around the phone, barely leaving enough space for Mark and Yangyang.

"What happened? It's not like you to hole up in there," Saeron asks.

"I... I have to skip schedules today," you say. The girls look at Seojoon.

"Are you sure, (Y/N)? I thought you said you wanted to keep working," he says. Saeron nudges him harshly and he looks at her as if to say 'What?' She only rolls her eyes at this.

"Yeah, I wanna stay home," your voice drops into a murmur.

"That's okay, kiddo, but we're all worried about you, at least let us know what's wrong and how we can help," she says.

"I don't think you guys can help with this..." you answered. "Unless you can find a way to put my relationship back together," your sentence turned into a sob.

Silence.

The girls looked at each other.

"Honey... did... did Seonghwa break up with you?" Saeron asks carefully. She is responded by a loud cry that she could hear from inside the bathroom.

"I don't even know what I did wrong! Sure the rumors flying around about me are shit as fuck but he knows none of them are true! I just don't understand why he'd end things now! He told me it was better for him and better for me but I've been thinking all damn night about how on earth this would be better for me I'm about to be jobless, for god's sake, and now I'm jobless and alone! And, sure, yeah, both of us are getting busy but not that busy it's not like we haven't been this busy before, I don't understand how that's a good enough excuse to throw away an entire fucking year!" You ranted, occasionally interrupted by hiccups and sometimes sobs, and the whole time everyone just listened. "Was it me? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, hon, you didn't do anything wrong," Saeron says.

"Fucking asshole," Yeseul curses under her breath. "I love you, (Y/N), I've always thought he was an asshole," she says into the speaker and you cried louder.

"She can't go out," Saeron looks at Seojoon who only nods.

"I wouldn't want her to either, I'll explain everything to the producers," Seojoon pulled his phone out and dialed them, leaving the group behind. Saeron looks at the boys and nudges her head toward the door.

"What?" Yangyang whispers.

"Say something!" Saeron whispers back.

"Oh, trust, Yangyang should not say anything," Mark shakes his head quickly.

"Dude," Yangyang half whispers.

"What? Why not? If anything he should be the only one talking," Saeron shakes her head in confusion.

"Uh, I, um," Yangyang stammers and Mark shakes his head, he was the first to knock on the door.

"Hey... (Y/N)," he says, "let's talk about it, you shouldn't be alone right now," he says. Yeseul hands her phone to him.

"Do you think he broke up with me because I have a lot of... guy friends?" You asked quietly.

"If he did he's a piece of shit," Yeseul says.

"Emily, be a bit more comforting," Saeron says.

"I know! But... fuck, he really chose now to break up with her?" Yeseul is, rightfully, angry, and when she heard you cry in the bathroom behind her she only got angrier. "Call your cousin here right now so I can beat his ass to oblivion," she looks at Saeron with an unmeasurable rage in her eyes.

"Although I'm sure you would win in a fight against San, violence isn't the answer here," Saeron says. She sighs. "Who doesn't have schedules today?" She asks. "All of ANiMA is booked."

"I can't right now," Yangyang mumbles. Mark shakes his head. Everyone looks at Yangyang, who sighs in response.

"Yeah, I'll check in on her first," Mark says, "I'll let you know if anything comes up," Mark knocks on the door. No response.

"Thanks, Mark, we're lucky that you're not busy right now," Saeron says. "We'll be back in the evening. Mark, text me if anything happens," Saeron says.

"And text me if he-who-shall-not-be-named pulls up," Yeseul rubs her hair harshly.

"Yeah, I will," Mark watches them leave and only Yangyang stays behind. "Dude, do you really not want to go in there?"

"Of course, I do, she's my best friend before anything else," Yangyang says. "But after last night, I don't think it's a good idea if I comfort her about this right now." Mark could only nod.

"Just... no, yeah, you're right. It might be rubbing salt in the wound if you go in there," Mark looks at the door.

"If she even opens it," Yangyang sighs. He puts his hand on the door and twists the knob, opening the door slightly. "Oh."

"Well, I got it from here," Mark sighs. Yangyang watches him go inside, catching a quick glimpse of you on the floor before the door shut.

You were staring at particularly nothing, awake, but staring at the wall. Mark closed the door behind him and sat on the ground next to you and, when there was no response, he laid down too.

"Hey... uh... (Y/N)... why are you on the floor?" Mark asks. You blinked. Huh, you didn't even realize he came in.

"Why are you on the floor?" You shot a question back at him.

"Figured it'd be easier to talk to you this way," he nods.

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Well..." your lips pressed in a straight line before turning into a frown, "I..." you sniffled.

"Take all the time you need."

"You know that feeling when you don't want to cry but the more you talk the more you feel like crying?" You asked him, your voice getting slowly replaced by sobs, Mark just nods. "Yeah, um, my life is shit right now," you cried. You rolled on your back and sighed. Mark didn't know what to say to that, there was no silver lining right now, just... shit, you know? Well, you would know but he wouldn't say that. "I must have been a really bad girlfriend, huh? I wonder what he saw that... confirmed that for him."

"Hey, don't say that, you were a great girlfriend to him," Mark shakes his head. “I mean, you always tried to sync your schedules with his, you always spent your days off together, and, I dunno, you were always thinking of him and we thought he did the same for you,” Mark rolls on his back too, both of you lying on the bathroom floor and staring at the ceiling. “Jihyun noona says you’ve been here for a while.”

“Is the sun up?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn…” you closed your eyes, “I’m sorry, Mark,” you mumbled.

"Don't apologize to me, I don't think you're doing anything wrong," he folded his hands over his stomach and you sniffled. "But, you know, lying down on the bathroom floor probably isn't the best way to cope with things," he says.

"Yeah... I know..." you muttered. "I'll be out in a minute," you said. Mark sat up.

"Alright, I'll wait for you outside." When Mark shut the door behind him, Yangyang was nowhere to be seen. Mark shook off the worry, he couldn’t think about the future when you were behind him needing all the support you could have. Support, huh? He wondered if there was even anything he could do to help aside from what he was doing now.

Needless to say, you didn't leave the bathroom in a minute, or in hours for that matter. And when the ANiMA girls walked in Mark knew you weren't coming out for a while. Mark gestured toward the bathroom and Saeron walked in next with a glass of water and small snacks. He took a deep breath and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He just didn't get it. Sure, he didn't know Seonghwa that well, but he knew Yangyang well. Just what exactly happened last night for even him to avoid you?

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delimeful · 1 year ago

Text

to know that song (and all its words) (10)

just like virgil, it's time we get to look at the raiders' attack from a few different perspectives :)

warnings: violence, blood and injury, implied minor character death, guilt, fear, lmk if i missed any

CAMERA LOG SF 7

DESIGNATION: LOADING BAY

20:34:27

“You hurt him,” Patton said, and he barely even recognized the sound that came out of him as his own voice.

The crowd of aliens was frightening, the way all aliens were to him, but there were some advantages to being monsters, and one of them was that aliens were scared of him back. They parted before him like leaves scattered by a leafblower, his steps unimpeded as he made his way to where a bundle of familiar feathers and fuzz laid. Unnatural, twitching movements spasmed through them, but they hadn’t gone deathly still– not yet.

Whatever the leader alien was saying was lost to the distant buzzing in Patton’s head. Logan’s response made it through, just barely. His voice had dropped into that icy pitch that meant he was well and truly angry, an ominous tone that made something primal and hunted in the back of Patton’s mind shiver to life.

Be ready, it said. We’ll have to fight soon.

He hated fighting more than anything else in space, even the tests. He hated seeing the fear set in, with bristling spines or flinching spikes or rolling, panicked eyes. He hated the way alien bones and bug shells gave way so easily, like they were made of hollow styrofoam or old eggshell.

Feathers’ arm was broken, snapped with a nasty, jutting-out bit of bone that made him feel sick to even see. Patton remembered the chalky taste of shock when he broke his wrist as a kid, the way the hurt had overwhelmed everything, the cautionary tales about grabbing little creatures or bothering baby birds, because they would die from the shock and the stress sometimes.

Aliens were so much more delicate than the little beings back home.

There’s a sob, somewhere in the back of Patton’s throat. He folded it down carefully, because he was surrounded by danger and because Feathers was still alive, and so he couldn’t just give up or break down, not even with all his fear and dread mixing into a horrible, pulsing mess in his gut.

Feathers had always been spirited, from the first moment the three of them snuck onto the little guy’s ship. Patton repeated this to himself like a mantra as he crouched next to them, feeling his lips wobble a little at the sight of their little head craning slightly to see him.

Their eyes narrowed into little crescents, and they made a small, warbling chirp that seemed to get a little tangled halfway through the sound. Feathers had made a lot of sounds, but none of them had ever sounded like this. The high pitched whistling breaths sounded a lot like almost-whines, like a hurt dog begging for help, but Feathers didn’t even seem to know that they were making them.

The alien leader kept speaking as Patton carefully slotted his hands under Feathers’ small, too-light form. The cadence of the words was songlike and mocking, and Patton could practically feel the way Logan’s ire sharpened to a honed point, aimed directly at them like the tip of a saber. Whatever the stranger had said, it hadn’t helped their case at all.

And that was saying something, considering that they’d already dug the hole pretty deep by hurting Feathers, who they’d all grown attached to despite Logan’s best efforts.

Patton has to blink back the automatic tears when he sees Feathers’ arm up close, trying his absolute hardest to lift them into his arms without jarring the injury. He had to hurry; the last thing they needed was for Patton to be stuck on the wrong side of the room with precious cargo during their plan.

Feathers was still conscious as Patton made his way back over to Logan’s side, the hair on the back of his neck prickling in nervous anticipation all the way. They seemed… out of it, their antenna flicking in strange little circles and their feathers puffing up and smoothing back down as waves of trembling pain seemed to work through their little body.

Patton clutched them a little closer, exchanged a brief look with Logan, and scrunched his eyes closed, knowing that he’d need the advantage once Roman flipped the switch. Next to him, Logan would be doing the same, only keeping the slightest sliver of vision to make sure they weren’t ambushed.

Even knowing it was coming, he still flinched away from the burst of noise when Logan whistled the signal.

The final whistle had barely faded into silence when the orange-pink of the back of his eyelids flicked to an unmistakable pitch black.

For a moment, Patton was back in the labs. He moved to grasp for Roman in the dark, knowing that the only way he could help him through these punishments was to grab on and hold tightly, prove that he wasn’t alone in the dark through whispered words and interlaced fingers.

The only thing his hand found was empty air, and next to him, the silhouette of Logan moved.

Right. He had a different friend to look after this time, and if he didn’t hurry, he’d be leaving Logan to deal with an entire ship’s worth of armed aliens on his own. The moment of disorientation would serve as an effective distraction for a few moments– but only that.

He twisted on his heel, ignoring the sicking crunch of impact from a few feet away to lunge back through the doors they’d come in through, turning and sprinting down the hall for onetwothreefourfivesix long steps and turn again, reach out and there was the little open shelf area built into the wall for storage.

This was where he tucked Feathers, the lowest part of the shelf, pushed to the back corner, his heart breaking a little at the pain they were so obviously in.

He left them there with a whispered promise to return, his heart pumping rapidly as he bolted back to where he could hear shouting and the beginnings of screaming, steeling himself as he picked up the heavy section of pipe Logan had left leaning against the wall outside.

They were in this together. No matter how much he hated it, he hated the idea of not standing between his best friends and death– or worse– more.

With a shuddering inhale, he plunged into the fight.

–

CAMERA LOG SF 9

DESIGNATION: CONNECTOR HALL 3

20:40:56

When the sudden darkness hit, Logan’s eyes had been slightly cracked, and so his vision was still partially impaired.

So, for the first few seconds of the fight, he worked off memory alone.

While the pointless, infuriating conversation he’d had with the raiders’ apparent boss had done their opponents absolutely no favors, Logan had never been one to waste an opportunity. He’d spent the duration of it scanning the room, taking in the aliens closest to him, the ones between him and the boss, and the ones with long-range weaponry held ready.

He went for the ones with paralyzing guns first, because the risk of being hit by a stray shot outweighed the potential of letting them fire off their weapons blindly in a panic, and because it gave him higher odds of hitting targets that weren’t immediately lethal, like hands or arms or even tails.

In his experience, flight was a much stronger impulse than fight for most aliens. Seeing as they had far less adrenaline to numb the pain of an injury and allow them to keep fighting through it, Logan understood why.

He also understood that it made diving into the middle of a herd of opponents much less dangerous. The moment the first few cries of pain and crunches of wrenched limbs rang out, there was a frantic scattering away from the center of the room, like a bowl of marbles dropped on the floor.

Good. The less casualties between him and his goal, the quicker this would be over with.

Even as he twisted around the attempted strike of a heavy, lumbering alien, his thoughts still felt like a looping record, dragged back again and again to those moments before they walked in.

He’d been the one to hold up their sign for wait, paused as though he was assessing the situation even though he knew from the cameras that the Ampen had already been taken hostage.

It had been to satisfy his own curiosity, to justify his own paranoia when it came to their surprisingly resilient impromptu pilot.

The other two hadn’t been in space as long as he had, hadn’t been exposed to the depths that aliens would sink to when it came to humans. He’d taken pains to try and keep it that way, though it sometimes felt as though they were undermining his efforts with how friendly they were, even after everything.

He knew why. Roman and Patton both had far more sociable natures than him, and a willingness to believe the best of others that had been stamped out of him. It was only natural that they would be curious about the first alien they’d met that didn’t hold any sort of power over them.

Logan had attempted to warn them— an attack could stem just as easily from fear and ignorance as it could malice and greed. Feathers, as Roman had so creatively dubbed him, certainly seemed terrified and spiteful enough from the very start.

And yet, even he’d started growing lax in the face of the unexpected kindnesses that the Ampen had granted them. Guidance on the food stocks they had, explanations on the facilities, and a slow but steady easing of tensions the longer both parties went without hurting each other.

They certainly seemed to alarm and bewilder the little alien at every opportunity, that much Logan was more than practiced enough in alien body language to pick up on, but there was understanding there, too.

And it certainly wasn’t greed that motivated Feathers. They’d balked at the Dren canister as though he’d been offering them a severed head on a plate, rather than a rare resource that many aliens were willing to commit atrocities to obtain.

It was the best outcome Logan could have asked for.

It was too good to be true.

So, he’d heard the leader offer Feathers a way out, coaxing them with promises of pest removal, and he’d waited.

Because he wanted proof that he’d been right to keep his distance. Because he’d been so sure that this was it, this was the moment that he was betrayed again, except now it wasn’t only his life at risk, but that of the other two, as well.

Because nobody in space cared what happened to a few humans. Not when ‘human’ was synonymous with ‘monster’.

“I don’t… give starscourge pirates shit,” Feathers had spat, words vehement even as their body refused to do more than dangle limply from their captor’s grasp. “Nobody on this ship… ‘cept me, anyhow.”

For the first time since he’d left Earth’s atmosphere, Logan realized that his worst fears were unfounded.

He’d been stunned. Almost too dumbfounded to think, let alone move.

And somewhere in that unforgivable moment of hesitation, Feathers stalwart refusal to give them up made them expendable.

“Useless,” the leader had hissed, the vitriol dragging Logan’s mind back online just in time to hear a splintering crunch.

The high-pitched shriek of pain only lasted for a handful of seconds before it cut off, and Logan had forced himself to move before his lapse in judgement cost their smallest crewmember any more than it already had.

Only half of his mind was on the conversation, the other half spinning wildly out of control as he watched Patton retrieve Feathers and knew from his tremulous expression alone that it was bad.

‘Bad’ for a human was fatal for an alien, more often than not.

“Logan, eight o'clock!” Patton’s familiar voice snapped him back into the present, and Logan stuck a hand out to smoothly receive the pipe Patton tossed his way.

He forced himself to focus, grounding himself with the sensation of his fingers around the cool metal of the makeshift weapon. Patton was at his side. Feathers had been safely removed from the situation.

There was only one matter he could afford to worry about now, and it was ensuring that he and his companions remained free and safe.

Logan stepped forward and swung, aiming to win.

—

CAMERA LOG SF 3

DESIGNATION: MAINFRAME ROOM

20:49:16

Waiting for the all-clear signal had been one of the most painful things Roman had ever had to do.

Up until now, every battle they’d faced, from their daring escape to boarding Feathers’ ship, had been with all three of them fighting together.

To sit in the dim red glow of the emergency light, holding a sharp twisted bit of scrap metal and his heart in his throat, ears straining for any sign that his only friends in the whole of space were alright— it was torture.

Even so, he sat.

Roman would be less than useless in the darkness that played such an instrumental role in their plan, his body responding to the threat and locking down regardless of what his mind had to say. He would become a liability, and the absolute last thing he wanted was to be used against them.

When the whistle finally came— one long call, and then two short bursts— he wasted no time before flicking the lights back on and sprinting down the halls.

Something tight and terrified in his chest loosened the moment the lighting fixtures flickered back to life, but it didn’t fully release its grip on him until he turned a corner and saw Logan, whole and unharmed.

Only Logan.

“Patton—?” he started the moment Logan turned fully to face him.

“Still in the bay,” Logan replied immediately, and for once Roman was grateful for his utter lack of any sense of drama. “He’s helping some of the more critically wounded with tourniquets and the like. They surrendered after I dispatched their leader and the more stringent bodyguards.”

Looking at the way he was splattered heavily with blood, one hand still white-knuckled around the equally-splattered pipe, Roman could imagine why.

“That’s Padre for you,” he replied, trying to remain upbeat even as he detected something distinctly wrong with Logan’s expression. “Is Feathers with him?”

Logan’s face closed off even more, and it felt like an invisible hand was squeezing all the air out of Roman’s lungs.

“They were injured. The severity is…,” he stopped, looking pained. “I need you to guard the main door so I can retrieve them and assess the damage.”

“Go,” Roman said immediately, reaching out and tugging the pipe from his grasp. “Don’t just give up, Specs. I mean, we don’t just have our resources now, right? There’s an entire ship full of supplies right here, and another connected to it. How often do you want to bet space pirates get injured on the job?”

Logan nodded, jerky at first and then smoothing into something more determined. “Right.”

Without another word, he headed down the hall, and Roman took a few deep breaths. He could keep it together for everyone. It didn’t matter if the composure was fake, so long as he acted it out well enough.

By the time Logan returned, he was put-together enough not to balk at the sight of Feathers cradled in his arms like a corpse.

The first thing Feathers had negotiated for was the right to walk for themself. They hadn’t let anyone else hold them since then, still snapped at fingers if Roman tried to pet them even a little.

There was a faint chirping, interspersed with a few nonsense syllables that might have been trying to be words, and Logan drew to a stop immediately, peering down at his passenger.

“Are you with us?” Logan asked, carefully moving a hand to hover over Feathers in an attempt to keep the bright overhead lights from blinding them.

They flinched a little, and then opened their eyes a little further and slowly moved their gaze to stare at Logan.

“You’re badly injured,” Logan told them bluntly in Common, a frantic edge to his voice. “We need to know what sort of treatment will work for you, what kind of medicine— and what amount, as well— is safe for Ampens. It’s very important, Feathers. Can you tell me?”

Roman couldn’t even find it in himself to tease Logan for giving in and using their nickname, too caught up in scanning Feathers’ tiny face for any signs of comprehension, any hope that they would be able to properly treat their wound.

After a few long seconds of blank staring, Feathers straightened up slightly and pushed their head up to butt against the palm of Logan’s hand, like an affectionate cat seeking attention.

Logan went still, like he was being held at gunpoint, and exchanged a desperate, pained look with Roman.

Feathers made a few tiny peeps, more vulnerable that they’d ever let themself be around them before, and Roman struggled not to be overcome by the feeling of his heart sinking right through the floor.

Hesitant and desolate, Logan smoothed his hand over their feathers as carefully as he could. Feathers crooned quietly and slowly settled back into unconsciousness, tiny muscle spasms still rolling through them every so often.

“Find their medic,” Logan said, and when Roman looked up, he found that his friend had settled into the harsh, sharp-edged version of himself, the one he used to harden himself to what they needed to do if they wanted to survive.

They’d all found a little of that in themselves, over the months spent in captivity. Logan had tried to use it to keep a protective shell between himself and their fluffy, stressed out pilot, but Roman was more than willing to use it on Feathers’ behalf.

“I’ll have Patton bring the first one we find to the medical room,” he agreed with a nod, already turning to head into the bay. “Once we’ve got the other ship locked down, we’ll meet you there. Take good care of them until then?”

Logan’s expression twisted the slightest amount, before firming into something determined. “I will.”

#sanders sides fic #alien au #humans are deathworlders #ts patton #ts roman #ts logan #ts virgil #tktsaaiw #to know that song and all its words #my writing #writing

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